How I got my very first Guardian:

I have told you about Fretty, right?!!
Fretty is a Ferret, not a domestic one, but a Siberian one. Fretty has 6 siblings, whom I just remember from when I was small. (They were my Spirit friends – or imaginary friends as we would say here today 🙂 )

I had an imaginary leash and was leading them along wherever I went. My parents knew well about it and my dad showed me pictures in a book about all kinds of Animals, until finally I recognized Fretty, but he still was a little different then the domesticated Ferrets and it took a book about Siberian Wildlife, borrowed from a friend of my dad’s, to find out who Fretty and his siblings were.
My mother was not so pleased, in spite of Ferrets having a quite honorable standing within Gypsy culture and many Roma were known and hired as Ferreters. (hunting Rabbits with Ferrets so the rabbits do not destroy vegetable crops)
Today Fretty is one of my Spirit Helpers, a quite opinionated one that is.
He is GREAT at finding out information.



Somewhere in the archives my teaching notes for my students  there is the story about my first NDE, how I almost died of Diphtheria and in the grip of deadly fever Umai-Ee’ne appeared and did not take me back with her but promised me to send someone who would watch over me and then shortly after that I then received my first real E’eren/ Clan Guardian from Her…..

=Ha! 🙂 I found it:


When I was 2 1/2 my mother and I went on a small child’s scooter down the steep street…

A rock…. and crash!!!!

Mother fell on top of me and I was unconscious for a loooong time.

I “dreamed” that there was a strange animal laying on my chest it smelled strange too, slim and small with a masked face and sharp little claws..
I got better … 3 months later I got diphtheria and was VERY close to death.
There was a VERY BEAUTIFUL young strange woman that came out of a glazing flimmering light! She wore white leather and red ribbons around the sleeves of that dress. She had loooong black braids and on a leash beside her feet there were 7 of those critters!!!!
She said: I can not take you back right now, I already have 7! You are FROM me but these are not for you!

In a …?? time I will send you your own animal from your Clan and HE !! will protect you!
She dissolved into the flirring light and I woke up and told my mother that I had seen an Angel with black braids and 7 …????!!!!! and what she had said!

My mom was overjoyed, that I was all better and recovering now. Being Gypsy and so not too unfamiliar with things, to her Animal Guardians like this were well known, although she had hoped, I would not “wake up to the Blood” sooo soon and so did not follow up on the matter.

But my father took me Very serious and made me repeat and later draw the things I saw, He and I loooooked through Animal books and we found ….
Black footed Ferrets = Frettchen my mother noted as being important Guardians for Gypsy people!


one afternoon about a year later all of a sudden – there was the flirring light again and the Lady appeared for less then a split second and then a LAAAArge slim, scrawny and what today I would describe as mangy looking Wolf jumped into / above me. —- Suspended in mid air he was, as the vision made my body shake (peed my …) and I got a VERY hot feeling up my spine and was shaking like a leave on a tree. I smelled him, his fur kind odd wet – ( nooo not like my pants!!)
and … then he was inside me…… and is there as my Guardian ever since!

As I learned from my father, Wolf is our Siberian Clan Animal.

My father is / was Siberian T. (tribal name omitted for privacy reasons) Wolf Clan and found it very auspicious, that our Clan Guardian appeared to me like this. Our Clan is patrilineal and to him it meant, that I was“special” and that “Eeren Börü, the Wolf-Guardian has taken a personal interest in me, more so than is normally expected. He slaughtered a Sheep from our flock, painted the blood on my forehead and hands and we had a feast with Mutton stew.

I was quite a bit scarrrred about the Biiiiig Wolf inside me at first, but it turned out a Powerful protector. The best friend of my every day ego,,

My “tonal” guide, the one who keeps my body and my Self save and intact when I am in trance. The one that saved me in a Christian orphanage when I was beaten,tortured and later exorcised, because I did refuse communion’s…. (another looong sad story…..)

picture from google

For the benefit of my students I often call him Ari’

but that is only “close” to his name….

7 thoughts on “How I got my very first Guardian:

  1. Thank you for sharing this Mi-Shell. Its a powerful and fascinating story. I very occasionally hear wolves howling here where I live, but have never seen one in person. Coyote, we see regularly, but that’s a different set of teeth! I’ll undoubtably think of you next time wolf wakes me in the night with her beautiful song.
    I’m new to your blog & enjoying it very much.

    • Nice to meet you, Wintergreen!
      We here have a pack of about 7 Wolves living in our immediate area and see them on occasion, but hear them quite often.
      In late August I can stand on the deck and howl and sometimes get answers from the pubs and then the low, gutural howl tone of the adults that tell me – and the youngsters to”shut up”
      They poooooooo in front of the house.
      It is mostly hair and bones, giving us a good indication, who was “for dinner” last week 😦
      We also at times see them hunting….
      I will post more about that some time…..

      • I’d love to read about them hunting.
        About 20 years ago, I was living in Montreal, and I had an extraordinarily vivid dream of a wolf running around on the sidewalks downtown. He seemed very upset that all the earth had been so completely covered over in concrete. I usually lose the connection with anything I dream of within hours, but it’s the strangest thing because this dream remains as real to me and as clear in my mind as a anything that happened today or yesterday.

  2. Much enjoyed reading your words Mi-Shell,I too am knew to your works (and the world of the computer). As a child in Australia just post WWII many of our parents had ferrets and going rabbiting for food was common practice. Most of our parents were rich (though I think some of them thought they were poor because they did not have a lot of money) they sure knew a lot about the ways of the world and animals and birds ~ to me the knowledge they passed on to us as children would take forever to learn from books, instead it was just a way of life and learning. Your words about “Fretty” took me back to the little country village I grew up in and loved as a child. Thankyou for unlocking some wonderful memories that I am still learning about 🙂

    • 🙂 Hi Jim! Yes, there is sooo much “old wisdom ” getting lost these days.
      Then some things get “watered down” by the New Age movement…….
      I am currently writing down all the things I learned first hand from my father and my aunts about our Siberian culture and how my Ada translated that forward into his own daily life and my upbringing.
      How about you? Are you writing things down – in order to preserve them and “bring them forward”?

  3. Wintergreen! What a powerful dream! Did you write it down?
    I could just imagine, this Wolf coming “back” (from the realm of Umai Ee’ne after resting for many generations…) and returning to what once, looong ago was the hunting territory of his pack……..
    But also:
    Do you at times feel lost in the “concrete jungle” of modern life, that often leaves little room for our “wild nature”

  4. I didn’t have to write it down, as it was incredibly vivid, and I’ve thought about it at least once a week since it came to me. This Wolf was so real!
    As for the concrete jungle, I left it many years ago, and I’m lucky enough to live a lifestyle that doesn’t constrict me too much. Unfortunately, there is more and more development in my area. Makes it tough on the animals (and the people)!

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