Bear Medicine Pouch

Bear medicine Pouch:

I made this pouch, in honor of the Summer Solstice 2012 and the Healing Bear Spirit with whom I work on my clients.
It is also inspired by the many trance journeys I undertake in order to help my patients who are then laying on the mighty Bear fur in my treatment area here in my home.

This pouch is small and is meant to be worn around the neck, while meditating on healing or doing healing work.
It is Deer leather, gemstones, bone and wooden beads. I added Black Bear fur and a claw as well as a hand cut mighty She-Bear, from Bear bone, and a hand cut bone Eagle. Wolf and Rabbit fur are attached to the strap.
The fur, bone and claw originate from a Bear that was unfortunately killed last year in the fall hunt.

As it costs upwards of $ 2000.00 to cure and preserve a Bear fur this fur, head and paws were dumped into the trash of the local garbage dump. I rescued it from there, (..a smelly affair), had it professionally cured and now am attempting to give it a new live and purpose through my art.

Bear is and has always been, since the earliest human culture one of the most important Guardians and guides for a shaman. In Chauvet Cave in France altars with Cave Bear skulls were found. they predate the arrival of homo sapience and bear evidence of a Bear cult among the Neanderthal People. The first humans then added drawings of Bears in red ocher.
since these ancient times Bear gives strength, wisdom , reflection, introspection and – since Bear digs up roots, the power to heal with roots and herbs and plants. Among the Ainu, in Siberia, in Northern Europe and North America, just to name a few, evidence of this worldview is still prevalent and practiced widely.

For our tribe, the Uryanchai in Tuva, Siberia, the Bear, always called “revered Elder Bear“and is a Guardian and protector of the East of the “Wheel of Life”

The Celts revered Art, the Bear as the Primal Power, Sovereignty, deep instinct.
Art is the clan animal of King Arthur, the name coming from the Greek word Artos = Bear…..

Native American people recognize the Power of Bear as strength, goodness and knowledge of Self. Most tribal lore speaks of Bear bringing the powers to heal with herbs to the Medicine man/ woman.
For the Anishinaabe People Bear (Maqua) strands in the North of the Medicine Wheel, while most other tribes see the Bear in the West as a healer, having the Power to heal with herbs. (Herbalist)
The Mohawk People have a story, how Bear brought the Powers of healing to the Clan Mother of the Bear Clan People.
The Petroglyph design on the back of the pouch is Misquade i’ she = Mother Earth the Turtle upon which we all live from Petroglyph Provincial Park and Shoz Lisquoi, the Inde’ Bear with the lightning bolt for healing.

Other materials:

Deer leather: To honor Wa-Washkesh-shi, the Deer, seen to be standing in the dawn of Morning and promoting none-violent means to reach a goal as well as female sensuality. Deer is also here to balance the Powers of Bear, as it creates the balance between predator and prey.

Turquoise: This Stone Sisters is sacred to most First Nations People upon Turtle Island, standing for prevention of injuries and harm, for the Winter Solstice and the returning of the light. It also is seen as a gem for healing especially for the Apache= Inde’ and Navajo People.

Turquoise is just as revered in Siberia. There standing for the protective powers of Sky Father and his emissaries.

The Feathers I used:
Pheasant – pride in one’s own heritage
Ruffed Grouse – drumming and chanting
Heron – order and patience, the pragmatist, leader of the Medicine Circle
Robin – Joy of Morning
Evening Gross beak = sense of family, responsibility

Mallard – family values


Just in case, you were wondering; yes, this pouch is for sale.

It is a 12 hour work and I would need

$Can 110.00 for it….

Teaching the children

Continuing from the previous post 🙂

After opening speeches and me doing the Noon Day Prayers and smudging, it was time for some teachings.

There were several school classes of kids from age 6 to 12 there to learn about First Nations culture. There also were quite a number of adults there and lucky for me several First Nations People also joined the circle.

I Had set up a small teachingdisplay and we discussed the meanings of Eagle, Wolf, Buffalo and Bear,  the Guardians of the 4 directions for the Anishinaabe People and the kids got a chance to handle an Eagle feather, a Buffalo horn, a Wolf ‘s tail and the Bear skull.

Then, on we went to the culture of the Haudenosaunee Longhouse and where the differences are.

Deer antlers, and other items were inspected and questions answered. We talked about how the Anishinaabe smudge and why the Mohawk People do not, but rather use Tobacco Prayers and how to conduct oneself when such an opportunity arises.

I also addressed some more problematic areas like why the white settlers tried to kill all the Wolves in the area while the First Nations watched in horror. Wolf is seen as an important teacher of family values, endurance and survival skills apart from being a mayor Clan Guardian for all First Nations.

There would be much to tell, but I also wanted to mention, that whenever a First Nations person is in the circle, I always give them the word to chime in and contribute or share personal experiences or give teachings.

2 hours of teachings go by very fast and then it was time for drumming!

They had all waited for that! We had to take turns to give all the kids a chance to play either the big Pow Wow drum or one of the frame drums I had brought for the occasion.

I explained, that the large drum was a gift from one of my clients and that it represents the voice of the Earth Mother. We played the heart beat and I sang a chant or 2.

Kids always want to speed up the beat and singing is a good trick to slow them down. Some children have lots of trouble keeping the beat or rhythm while others take to it easy and right away.

Some Anishenaabe Women see it as a special privilege to be able to play the big drum, because the men in their communities usually restrict them from even touching a Pow Wow drum. In the last few years there are a few female drum groups but they often experience the full brunt of rejection from their male contemporaries. No such problems exist in the communities of the 6 Nations of the Iroquois Confederacy 🙂

Everyone enjoyed the drumming sessions and at the end all the participants followed me in a traditional Closing Prayer.

Shi’ Meegweetch



Thank you all

On a hot day in Huntsville…

As previously mentioned, June 21st is National Aboriginal Day and I was in Huntsville to bring teachings:

It was hot and very windy day. We were on site 2 hours early to set up the teaching area and several teaching stations that explain a little about the differences – and similarities of several First Nations.

To honor the Kanien’keha’:ka, the People of the Flint,(Mohawk) I had brought a Deer skin, as Deer is seen as the leader of the Animals, Maple twigs and Maple sirup as Maple is seen as the leader of the Trees. Strawberries are the leaders of the Food people, being the very first that are ripe up here – but we could not exhibit our delicious Strawberries, because the leader of the Ant People was right there to eat them up/ carry them away.. 😦

For the 3 clans of the People of the Flint I put the Turtle shell for the Turtle Clan, the Wolf foot for the Wolf Clan,and Bear fur for the Bear Clan. You also see my Water Drum, a woven basket with dried Squash and ceremonial heritage Corn and a little bottle of Maple sirup. Then there was the Tobacco pouch the Sachem of the Wolf Clan had given me as a present for a healing I had done for his family and the traditional Healing Rattle, I had received from a lady who’s grandfather was a doctor in the area in the 1920ties and who had received it for helping a Mohawk man,whom he had helped after a bad accident.(Peter now uses this rattle in the longhouse during certain songs and dances 🙂 )

The exhibit to honor the Buffalo Nations out West had the large Buffalo skull I received, honored by Buffalo wool, bead work and f”ed” with Sage and Sweet grass. The panel has traditional buffalo teachings on it as well as the sad history of the Buffalo slaughter of the late 18hundrets….

Then the exhibit for the Anishinaabe shows a traditional wabenowin rattle contrasted by a more modern Turtle rattle a pouch and tie with the traditional floral bead work of the Woodland Culture,A white Rabbit fur represents Nanabozho, a messenger of G’tchi Manitou, an intermediary on Earth among different species of beings and an advocate for the Anishinaabe, to whom he imparted the gift of knowledge.

The Turtle – (Snapping Turtle shell) again stands for Earth In the back is one of my handmade Sweet Grass smudging baskets with Sage,(West) Cedar,(North) and home grown Tobacco (East)and a Sweet grass braid (South)

Here on the picture still in the plastic bag is a shell with smudging herbs that was lit for the noon ceremony and onto the little dishes I would put Herbs, that people can use as offerings to put their own Prayers into the Sacred Fire and send them to Creator. We had to keep this covered until the last minute because of the strong wind, that was trying to blow things about….

 I have no pictures of the things being in use, but I am sure you know, that it is strictly against cultural norms to photograph the Prayers and  ceremonies while they are being conducted.

Many Elders also do not allow people to take pictures of any teachings. I however belief, that every little bit helps to bring understanding and tolerance to a broader audience and so am OK with being photographed or filmed while teaching. I however do not like the media interfere with what I do, I do not “pose” for pictures and do not answer questions of the media while teaching. When there is healing rituals or a sharing circle, then I do no allow any media.

We also did set up a teaching area with a Medicine wheel, the big drum and all the hand drums. In the next post there will be a few pics about what went on there….

There was supposed to be another Native Elder from a local community .

He has promised to bring Prayers and teachings, but he did not show up and it was an awkward situation with all the town’s dignitaries and the TV crew waiting and waiting and waiting in the searing 40+ heat….

…..until they decided, that I was on my own for the day…

There were a lot of people in the central plaza and several school classes had come to attend and learn.

So I grabbed my drum, entrusted the Smudge to a knowledgeable Anishinaabe que and  did the ceremony and the following teachings alone.

Summer Solstice / National Aboriginal Day Prayer:


Today on the longest day of the yearly cycle we have gathered here to honor Grandfather Sun and to give thanks for all the lush abundance in our lives, that the Creator, the Sacred Mystery provides for us all.



And so we turn our thoughts towards the Medicine Powers of East,

and send our greetings and our gratitude towards the place where Grandfather Sun is rising every morning, blessing us with the light and warmth that fills our hearts and minds,

that makes the Eagle soar and that gives strength and energy to our Brothers and Sisters the Plants: the food Plants, healing Plants the Trees and the Flowers that speak to our open hearts.

May Grandfather Sun fill us with energy, enthusiasm and joy, confidence and creativity

Today and always.

Let us now turn towards the Powers of the South, the direction of Summer, heat and growth and our daily work and responsibilities .

May the Creator extend loving protection over all of us, our families and loved ones, our homes and our communities.

May we have patience and kindness in our hearts, when teaching the children.

May we be filled with and respect for all living beings

Let us also send greetings and gratitude towards our Brothers and Sisters the Animals, the 4 Legged, the Winged ones, the Shape Changers and the Swimmers, from whom we can learn the wisdom of living on this land in Beauty and in Balance.

Today and always.

Let us now turn towards the West, the direction of the setting Sun, that teaches us to slow down, from our daily work and turn inwards. Let us send greetings and prayers for good health and healing to everyone who is sick today and so can not be here. Let us send greetings and prayers of solace to everyone who lost a loved one. Let us help everyone who is lost and in distress or confused. May the Evening Sun lend us the insight to recognize our own weak spots and give us the strength to walk towards the greater good of peace and healing.

Today and always.


Let us now turn towards the North, the place of night, quiet, dreams, memory and visions.

Let as sing our songs of greeting and gratitude that affirm our culture and who we are.

Today, on National Aboriginal Day, let us offer Sweet grass, Sage and Tobacco to honor the Ancestors, who walked upon this land, since the time of Beginnings.

May our words and deeds plant the teachings of the Ancestors deep into the hearts of our children and grandchildren.

The vision of the First Nations is one, that honors the past and the sacrifices made, but it looks forward, towards a vibrant and productive future.

Today and always

Let us now send Greetings and heartfelt gratitude towards the Earth Mother for all she provides for us and all our Relations, the Animals, Plants, Birds.

Let us give thanks for the growing harvest, now in our fields and gardens.

Let us pledge to keep clean the waters, lakes, streams and rivers, as water is the life blood of our Mother the Earth.

Let us be respectful of the land, of forests, meadows, sea shores and mountains down to the very last  rock and stone , for these are her bones and her wisdom resides in them.

Let us honor the Fire, that first arouse from the depths of her belly.

All that is upon the Earth is of the Earth and the Earth is our only home.

Today and in the future.

Let us now pay our respects to Father Sky stretched out high above us and send greetings and gratitude in the form of sacred smoke of Sage and Tobacco up into his blue blanket.

For Grandfather Sun, for Grandmother Moon and for all the Stars, the Brothers and Sisters of Mother Earth.

When we look up towards Father Sky, let us remember, how small we are, and let us be filled with thankfulness and humility.

Today and always.

Great Spirit,

Our Creator,



Gichi Manitou,

Wakan Tanka,


Lord God,


Great Mystery!

You with so many name but one all encompassing energy.

You who is everywhere and within everything and everyone.

Today on the Summer Solstice, On National Aboriginal Day

We ask for Blessings

Please bless us and our loved ones

Please bless all our relations

Please bless the Earth Mother

Please bless everyone alive upon her and within the blanket of Sky father.

Shi Meegweetch



Thank you

Siberian Spirits in our Art

Here, upon request, are a few pictures of Siberian petroglyphs and pictographs Bearpaw Jewellery  recreates:

Owl petroglyph from Tom River

with dancing shaman glyph from upper Amur River petroglyph

Sterling Silver, Brass and copper

$ 250.00 Can.

Reindeer talking  in my ear

Sterling silver and copper$ 110.00 can

This is my Great Grandmother Ulali 🙂 and she is not for sale!

But this simpler version is 🙂

Umai Ee’ne our Mother

Wall hanging on wood – Birch, Pine or Cedar on choice…..

price depending on size and what we are supposed to put onto her legs and body…..

= your choice

And this one is Sterling silver and turquoise, which is sacred to us

$ 130.00

And more Umai Eene for good measure – this one is copper only

$ 60.00

Siberian Tiger petroglyph from the Amur region

And the Snow Leopard from a stone relief in Tuva

Last for today is the Wolf from Eshkiolmes Mountain range, Koksu River, Kazakhstan

Another Day I will put up a fewpieces with shamans and petroglyphs and geoglyphs from North America and Europe….

But now I have to scoot and get my things for the Teaching Tent for the event on Thursday together 😉

Until then

Check for other treasures



Upcoming celebrations for National Aboriginal Day

I have been asked by the town of Huntsville to do the Noon Day Prayers for National Aboriginal Day, which is June 21st = the Summer Solstice

National Aboriginal Day is a fairly new holiday here is Canada.

Most Native communities have always celebrated the Summer Solstice according to their cultures and people living in the big cities drive home to the reservation for the day, much as other Canadians would do for Thanksgiving day.

So this day was essentially selected by the Government to pay long over-due tribute to the First Nations.

Here is a little more about it all came together:


Sadly there is little funding in the communities for putting an event and so we all organize things on aolunteer basis.



I  am planing to set up a cultural display for our 2 Host Nations, the Anishinaabe  ( = the Ojibwa)

and the Kanien’keha’:ka  (= the  Mohawk)

After the prayers at Noon I will have the Teaching Tent open for cultural teachings:            

– – Smudging:

       Making Prayers with sacred herbs
    = learn about smudging and  participate in a smudging ceremony   
— Our Host Nations the Anishinaabe and the Mohawk:
            a look at 2 distinct cultures –   

– – Buffalo teachings  –

– – Frame Drum circle 🙂

    I will bring the large Pow Wow Drum and extra  drums

– – sometime later …..

  after I catch my breath……
   Question period!!????

= What would you like to know..?

—-Closing prayers

Water Flier

Water Flier:
6 of Cups
That is supposed to be the angel Uriel – love of god. Why -for the love of god – does he have these hideous claws?
I have to admit, through the Angels and Wings discussions here on the blog and at AT I have learned a lot! About the view others have of angels, of their origin and how come they are depicted the way they are. It also reminded me to take note of a well known warning sign I know in me: When I do take certain things literally,  what I see – on angels and crosses and a few other things……
I do not do that normally with other images!
I have to be especially aware, when I feel that certain gut aversion.
I have in the past discovered, that I did that to distance myself from these subjects. Like in “They do not work, so they are christian nonsense” and then dismiss the whole notion of people believing in angels…
Avoidance tactics – that is what it is called in psychology terms.
Avoidance tactics create and then re-enforce blinders and blind spots.
I have to do my very best to clear them up and out wherever I find them, to keep my practice and my visions clear and clean in order to be of service to others.

Well, back to the 6 of cups:
Because, with just the image as such I am quite OK.
Only the book tells me, that this is another angel….
If I would see a Spirit in trance, that looks just like this one on the card, I would not for a second question, that he can fly through water with these huuuuge wings. I would not question his lobster claw hands. I however would want to keep this Spirit away from my clients – less he pinches them….:(
But- on the other side: Could he pinch out of them the kind of deep seated dysfunctional stuff that holds them down? (I need pinching there, to re-examine and update my fixed ideas about angels 😉
I neeeed to do that because shedding light into these dark corners of my smaller self and dust it out on a regular basis, keeps me from mixing up “my stuff” from the needs fears and miss-conceptions of my patients and clients. It keeps my vision as clear and current as possible lets me see with fresh eyes and prevents me from becoming rigid and habitual.

I am putting the Hanged Man card next to the Water Spirit Flier

One dives deep into the subconscious and lets the loooong hair hang down even further to allow all the unconscious hang-up stuff rise up and be re-examined. Is this seeker is a gender-less person? Or is it a middle-aged women – like me?
She anchored in the vines of the Tree of Life – with that I do not mean the Kabbalah tree but the shamanic Tree of my ancestral teachings. The hands of this person are not hands anymore. There are fiery red dots in them. Are they at this moment transforming into the lobster claws of Water Flier?
After being suspended in the murky unconscious for a while, boiled in the bubbles of wisdom – eventually one has to come up again.
Up for air.
Up into tangible reality.
Up where in this middle world people are waiting to be touched by bubbles of wisdom, healing hands and feathers that encourage Spirit flight.
Uriel / Water flier was transformed down there,
even his/her sex – maybe….
Now it is time to come up and work with what gifts
s/he brought back.

Dragon killer

Dragon killer:

Continuing on with the 6 of wands, which is supposed to depict archangel Michael. The card is dark brown overall with just the light skinned red haired human in the middle. Yes, I wrote human. See, he/ she killed the Dragon, a magical creature full of the wisdom of the ages. With a rather grotesque finger hold the pale lad grasps the dead Creature by the neck. In my opinion, he also grasps something else: The truth that with this kill, with murdering this being, that is also a sacred part of Great Mystery, just like he himself he lost his angle status and became human.

Are angels allowed to kill?

Are angels supposed to kill?

Is the christian god ordering them to do so?

Ifff yes, he is sick and should see someone about it….

(  ;0 should I give him my phone number? 😉 )

They say, this guy is love and light…. but we all know better: Like soooo many other things in christianity behind the brilliant light there is darkness of righteousness, brutality, one-up-man-ship, vengeance and an attitude of superiority. “Me above everything! Me above all other religions – Or else!! And if not, I send my archangels…” – Like this one here to kill, or torture or …worse…. This is -after all the old war god Yahweh from the old er religion that people are praying to. And he was a brute… still is….The bible is still full of nasty things he put people through…. and I wonder, what all was edited out over the years….

Now back to this fallen angel; His wings are dark brown supposedly like the mountains in the background… – or they are turning brown with the dried blood that cakes them and makes them useless for flight = rising above it all…. He is supposed to be god’s warrior. What does this guy need a warrior for? Now this warrior has killed yet again – and once too often and – his face shows the apprehension and …… aversion about his own actions. To me he seems lost, confused even. Like, now what. Here, dear god is the last dragon. The last Wisdom Keeper of the old Earth centered faith. But with it also dies the angel’s own power and all that is left is a burning lance. And the world around him turns to darkness, which is why we can not really see much on the card.

I think, I want to next put here, what the book says about the image:

Quote Text Mary ELTarot:

The 6 of Wands is the Archangel Michael. His name means “Who is Like God.” He is a warrior thatcommands the armies of God. His fire and life force interact with things directly and with force, with vengeance and righteousness. His weapon, here, the flaming spear is like the lion from the previous card the 5of Wands, burning a trail through the dark forest, making a way forward. This dragon he destroys is darkness; he
estroys it with direct force and illumination, by going straight through it like a penetrating army. He bears the sigil of Michael on his forehead, a symbol derived from tracing a name over the rosy cross. Each of the four archangels have this
re on their body. Names are very important to angels, as they define who and what they are, limit them from the limitless, and define them. Angels often bear the suffix” el” on their name which is an ancient name for God as in Allah, El, Elohim, Ba’ al, etc. The el describes them as ” of God” or an aspect, a portion of God charged with certain duties that support the creation and maintenance of the universe.

In this painting Michaels wings resemble dark mountain peaks and there are legions of angels flying in the sky. Michael comes down to the earth, to the pits of hell, and slays demons and dragons.

This card is to slay your dragons. The dragons are whatever opposes you or your situation. Spiritually the dragons are darkness and ignorance within ourselves. We illuminate this darkness with fire.

This is also a marriage of these seemingly opposite elements, the angel and the dragon, or demon. A being from heaven and a being from hell, but both are part of you, one is your higher self or genius, and one is your lower self, your subconscious. A marriage of heaven and hell, angelic and demonic.

Your demons are part of you, they protect you, they have purpose. You can remove them, kill them, suppress them, chain them, but that will be destroying a beautiful aspect of yourself; it is far better to cleave to them, integrate them, appreciate
them and become a
well-rounded. strong human being of dark and light, than a shallow facsimile with a cracking facade using all of your energy to hold back the tide of things you deem unworthy to be you. It is all you, embrace it and integrate
it, marr
y it, love it, this is an important part of the Lovers. This is the last step of creation, where male and female, contrasting opposites are balanced and come together in symmetry and balance. Once you are whole, you have found the treasure of your being and you will ride off on the Chariot to do your will.

Michael is the patron saint of soldiers and warriors.

This Dragon was supposed to be darkness. Well, when you kill darkness – in this card you have more darkness. Darkness is the balance of light. And contrary to the christian belief most First Nations wisdom from all around the world teaches us, that there needs to be balance. Not just one sidedness. Too much of a good thing turns bad by nature….

The book says, that this angel is sent down to Earth, to the pits of hell…!?? Since when is Earth synonymous with the pits of hell ?

It also says, that the “el” in an angel’s name is to bind the angel to his god, make it like him and force it to do his will. Obey his orders. These include orders to kill….

The book contradicts itself here in the end:

(I actually LIKE that, because it tells me, that this whole notion is not really making sense to the writer either.:)

Are you now supposed to slay your Dragons or are you supposed to integrate them into your whole being, because they too are beautiful and wise aspects of you? I think Marie first dutifully draws us the christian front line. This is the bible and how it is supposed to be. But inside herself she knows better:

If we kill our inner demons, which indeed are a part of us, that then we would kill a beautiful creative aspect of ourselves – and we would stand there, forlorn and with hollow eyes, just like the poor lad on the card.


Marie come and paint for me

another image so we see

Holding Dragon in loving hand

Angel walks across the land……

What’s in a name?

6 of Wands:

archangel michael:

Oooooh but YES! I do have a problem with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not with the image on the card, but with the being he is supposed to depict, with archangel Michael of the christians.

With Michael!!!!

See: Ada, my father named me Mi-Shell. But my mother, having barely and with loss of friends, family, dignity and sanity just ever sooo barely escaped the concentration camp and its gas chambers wanted only one thing for me:

To be SAVE!!!!!

Save from the next holocaust.

Save from the next power wielding set of madmen.

So she had devised a plan: Make the little baby christian and give her a christian name, so she would be spared, the next time around…..

My father wanted none of that. He hated christians and that they professed one thing and did quite the opposite when nobody was watching –like kill people by the thousands in the name of their god….

But with the name thing my mother had a point and she knew it. Using this little trick had saved my fathers first family – and himself on several occasions during his time as a spy for the Russians and later the Americans in WWII.

What little trick you ask?

Fake names: When you are making your living as a spy, fake names – lots of fake names and birth dates and home towns and whole fake families are a tool of the trade.

When WWII rolled around my father had gone to the forger and had made up a whole set of fake papers for his first wife, who was Jewish, for his daughter Mausi, my half sister and of course for himself. It saved Mausi and her mom from the fate that many others had no way of escaping.

Ada also dropped his father’s Russian name. Going into the forger’s office a Russian emigrant, he came back out a true blue German with a christian name to keep him safe on the job….. It was one of many names he used and the surname I grew up with and went to school with was …. well better not spill toooo many beans on the internet……

At home we had a beautiful coffee jar full of fake passports and drivers licenses and so on – all with different names and different professions and different birth dates – And all with my Ada’s picture on them. I used to play with them, when I was lonely….

But I entered school not as Mi-Shell – “What kind of a word is THAT?” the school clerk asked my father – and: “WHAT???? NO religion???? You HAVE to have a religion! Without it she can not be admitted into school. So, what is it? Catholic or protestant? God forbid, you are Jews…..”

Luckily I can not quite recall just what my father answered her, but it was LOUD, contained nasty words and went with lots of expansive hand and arm movements…… But it could not change everything:

I entered first grade as Michaela – but still no religion 🙂

But when asked my name I always told the teacher my real name and was corrected often with the remark ”Michaela for the archangel Michael!”

I hated that and blamed that “stupid angel” for it all!!

Well, in terms of names things for me were still going to get worse, when a month before my 10th birthday I was taken away from my pagan/ tribal parents and stuck into a christian orphanage where nobody had a name and we were known by the number of our arrival. I was child no 235

I would have given much for being named anything other than that and the hell that went with it…

where was that oh so holy angel then, when it was about keeping me safe from all that degrading mistreatment and abuse. He did not help the other kids either……

But My Clan Guardian, the Wolf, helped and I made it out of there – after 3 looong and painful years.

It was only after coming to Canada, that I finally re-claimed the name my father originally gave me ……………………………………..***……………………………………………….


After writing all this I have to “come up for clean fresh air” and so I will deal with the image on card in one of my next posts…..


Overcoming hang-ups

Mary-EL Tarot

I shuffle the deck and pick my daily card:

6 of Swords.

Immediately my mind sounds out the Yuck-alarm:

Ihrroak!? That is archangel Raphael 😦

– All my hackles are up. I do not like christian angels!!!!!

Yes, OK BUT:

After the immediate gut reaction subsides I am really looking at the card= What is on there – NOT what I know from the book:

The predominant color is red. Alarm!!! Huuuuuge red wings – waaaay too big for that scrawny lad…. But red wings none the less…

Is THAT, why I had that instant = before thinking reaction? Red is also Blood and guts but also heat and sun and lust and fire…..

There is a rather puny looking red haired teenager guiding 2 younger kids, that could be his younger siblings – or smaller kids from the playground. This guy certainly poses no threat to anybody, he is malnourished and pale, nerdy looking. His hand is also kindly , protectively petting the neck of a medium sized Dog – a hunting Dog maybe…(I am not good with the names of breeds…)


Hands are predominant as well.

The hand on the Dog’s neck, the older girl holding hands with the younger boy,interweaving their fingers.

With an open hand the skinny teen points the way ahead, up some flight of stairs, while also with his thumb holding a strange long stick around which a black Snake-like ribbon is curled. This staff somehow reminds me of the caduceus – and right, I am finding out, that Raphael is in charge of healing and guiding the soul towards harmony and integration by dispelling fear, ignorance and – as in my case -dysfunctional oooold hang-ups!

See! 🙂 That was not sooo bad.

Looking at a christian angel in a new way and actually finding out, what they think he is for, instead of shutting down by the first sight of him…..

In wikipedia I find out that he too is a patron of physicians, so that is, what the blood and guts wings are for… 🙂

In the RWS system the 6 of Swords is often shown as a person in a boat, embarking on a journey, the boat filled with the 6 swords – the thoughts, the mind, Dark clouds in the distance speaking of past troubles, perils, hard times and hurts….

So this guy is the boat for the journey forward.

Into seeing things differently

taking off some old blinders

and let in some light and tolerance.

The little girl has brown hair, long and open – like I had at her age….

I am not the little girl anymore, that got dragged into darkness, abuse and pain by some christian nuns…..

Dare I now look at the other angels in this deck?

See, what I see, disregarding – for a moment – the knot in my stomach?


Hi 🙂

Gregory E here! 🙂

My immediate response is:

This card evoked two things for me : A painting of a bride preparing for her wedding by Max Ernst where she is covered with red feathers and looks much like the wings on this card :

Secondly the angel’s appearance reminds me of the god Pan, who always seems to appear with the same cropped curly red hair and the pointed elfin face. Pan is mischievous, and the immediate suggestion to me is that he is leading the children into a bit of harmless fun at someone else’s expense – like a class ringleader.

Even the wand with the caduceus has a “fun” snake wound around it ! This in turn makes me think of Peter Pan – who did exactly that. Which suggests to me – probably totally inappropriately – that this card is actually about fun. And – we often Can use a dose of fun to heal our deepest wounds.