After this revealing shamanic journey I felt that I have my work cut out for me:
Find out EVERYTHING ABOUT YAMANTAKA
Like, what are the Buddhist teachings that go along with this deity and how do people “work” with him.
The internet was a big help in doing some research – on the days when we had electricity and our satellite connection worked……
Friends and other people on the path gave helpful tips and suggestions.
Ultimately however there remained the question, why did this Spirit appear to me with such persistence.
Had he attached himself to me at Nyima’s home, simply because I was there and “open”??
Had it to do with the fact that often I work with very sick people facing death or having to fight for their lives, overcoming devastating illnesses, suicidal thoughts and deep depressions?
Was it because I myself had experienced my own death more than once in Near Death Experiences brought on by VERY nasty arrhythmias that eventually necessitated telemetry surgery?
Was it because I have at times to “bargain” with the “Spirit of Death” for the life of one of my patients and now I am experiencing this very Spirit in its Buddhist emanation?
Learning and reading more and also journeying taught me, that the Buddhist Spirit of Death = Yama is not really the same than Yamantaka.
Yamantaka is more in charge of aiding people on the path to experience the death of their own ego!
To chop down an overinflated ego, a “know it all better” ego.
An “Oh I am soooo very enlightened – and you better watch me and listen to my wisdom” kind of ego 😦
An “I am your new guru” kind of pompous ass ego!
The very first question therefore I have to ask myself is: “ Am I a pompous ass??”
Do I come across as one???????
What behaviour makes me one?
What thought process brings out that behaviour?
Is writing this blog maybe evidence of pompous ass behaviour?
Is that pompous ass behaviour as well?
Can I even “see” myself in my own mirror?
How is, what I see, when I look at myself different from what others see, perceive me to be?
How can I clean up my act/ behaviour/ practice, my way with other Beings?
Sensing, writing out and then seeing this list of questions makes me want to hide and – just stop EVERYTHING I do……
…. But that leaves people hanging….. and is NOT what my Spirits wanted.
Dreams of who is going to die and who is in trouble and who is depressed and may need a phone call and….. quickly proved that…….
Hiding is not an option.
But AWARENESS is always the first step in the right direction.
And after that???
…. follow the bread crumbs……
So, where were they and how did I “get here”?
Oh yes, the puzzle pieces!!!!!
The visions, the beautiful Crystal rock from Mt Kailash!
All the other dreams……
Yaks and Yak tails for cleansing………(? Have I told you about my Yak tail? No, but I will! )
So, the Spirit moves in mysterious ways, right!
Remember the post about my strange dreams about a young beautiful woman that eventually turned out to be Uma Thurman??
Well, turns out, her dad is Robert Thurman, an eminent scholar about Buddhism and a friend of the Dalai Lama. He wrote a book about his travels to Mt Kailash!
No sooner had I found out about that, then I saw this very book in the library – and on the same day it appeared on the reading list of Bhola’s website about the next pilgrimage trip he is organizing to Mt Kailash this year….
Ooooh how I am droooooling !
How much I would loooooove to sign up!!
But at 58 with a heart arrhythmia that “killed me 3 times” already that is not an option – – – in THIS lifetime…..
Sorry Bhola! I would soooooo love to…..
I can only travel there in Spirit…..
But I can stick my nose into a book or 2 🙂
Robert Thurman and Ted Wise’s book ‘Circling the Sacred Mountain’ was written in 1999 – and just thinking, what all happened in the world since then makes my head spin – What they hoped for – and what hopes they had for Tibet…….
But during their travels Robert Thurman gave daily teachings about “The Blade Wheel (Swastika) of Mind Reform”, about Yamantaka’s “Wheel of Wisdom” and about honest self reflection and “stomping out and annihilating certain ego based behaviours”.
So, somebody was thinking, that I need that!
Well, yes, sure! I think, we all need that!
Become more aware and grow out of certain ego notions.
Especially because these days Western society is very “into self fulfilment” and so many people are becoming very self centred and I know of quite a few shamanic practitioners, that are simply “full of themselves”
I do not want to inadvertently stumble too deep into their ranks and so – I am putting my nose to the grindstone, into Yamantaka’s teachings and into the answers to the above mentioned questions.
Care to join me?