from my Medicine diary……
Thank you for the healing!♥
The other day, Peter and me were invited to a Christmas party.
It was nice: friends and acquaintances, good food, laughter and fun. Fun especially, because there were “Christmas party games”
As you know, we are anything but Christians and not very familiar with all the customs of the seasons, so we both drew blanks when it got to a game where one has to recite or even sing one many of the popular Christmas songs.
The only one I knew was Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer – (I HAVE to know that one, 🙂 my paternal Siberian Ancestors were / are Reindeer herders from the north side of the mighty Yenisei river in north-east Tuva.) And of Silent Night I only know and could sing the Cree text…..
Some of our friends were surprised and one of them suggested I should come and sing it like that in his church.
I do not think it is my place, to sing a christian song in a Native American language in a church – after all what the churches did and still do to Native Culture……
The next morning at home I had a bit of a migraine (repercussions for eating the delicious cheese appetizers) and so instead of rushing around, I had to sit still in the semidarkness of dawn– and had time to think.:
How much acculturated am I?
What other X-mas songs do I know?
What are the songs of the Winter Solstice of my own Siberian culture?
My Ada was anything other than a singer, he rather hollered and growled to the stomping rhythm of his large shaman staff witch had rattles and bells attached. A rather frightening ruckus he made with it!
I also do remember the Solstice Chant, that calls the Owl Guardians, asking them for protection through the long icy winter nights. I also remember the trance rhythms we are to drum, when the shaman walks around the village, asking for Blessings and protection and then sits out the long and frigid night up on a snowy windy rock promontory or even atop a tall Tree chanting and praying for everyone in the hamlet. This after all was my great grandmother Ulali’s job.
I also know, that when the Wolves do answer or join into that lonely chant, it is seen as VERY fortuitous for the new solar year.
It is a velvety soft pulling thing/ feeling, when the trance comes in – and takes hold.
Somehow the melody and words of the Huron Carol floated into my mind…..
Then the scenery before my eyes changed.
A wintry night
deep snow, the moon up, full, just before midnight
Ice crystals glistening on all the Spruce Tree branches, bark cracking in -50 below
This is HOME = Siberia…….
entering the clearing filled with more than Moon and Star light…..
and then the words came in
on the melody….
A female Elder’s voice…..
T’was in the Moon of Wintertime
an old Wolf this way came
He had a ragged mangy coat
and on one foot he was lame.
He had a rotten toothless throat
and a stomach full of hunger pain
He knew that Death would be a grace
to an old wreck of his mighty race….
So he walked towards the Morning Star – – –
-and was surprised what he there saw- –
A beautiful glittering Reindeer dame
A Spirit with her antlers aflame
Life Magic from her heart did glow,
Love and mercy in her eyes did show,
She touche him with her sacred hand
to send him off to Never- Land…
But oh– he felt the Magic swell…….
the old Wolf changed to young and well!
His coat aglow in the sparkling snow,
his teeth all trim, feet fast and slim
Deep in his heart the Wolf did know
that never again old and frail he’ll grow
For all time he’ll wander through the night
all lost Souls home her was to guide
Sooo thankful for this Sacred Gift
into the air his snout he lift
and sang the first chant ever done
That on Solstice night
Star Maiden would come
To take away all pain and fear
So you all too live another year
So sing with me the Börü chant
that it will ring across this land….
Much much later, tears streaming down my face, hands still shaking, but migraine gone completely,
I managed to write it down, in 1 uninterrupted “flow-stream”…..
Still tears of thankfulness dripping onto the paper……
They are coming back, as I am sitting here now, typing it.
I know, the song, is based on one of the many E’eren Börü, legends of my Ancestors.
I also know, it is not for me alone, it is given, so I can share it with the community.
It says, “So you all too live another year!”
It is a little like something my Great gran Ulali would bring back from her midwinter night ordeal, to share with the people……
So you all too will live another year!
After the previous post appeared, I was asked; When I do see a Fisher – or in this case Mathilda, in a shamanic sense, what does that mean to me?
What Medicine wisdom does Mathilda – or any other Fisher carry – or point towards?
For me personally a Fisher has the connotation of “adversity” living , dealing and overcoming adversity – and reaping the rewards of that.
It has its roots in how my neighbours see and HATE Fishers, How I fear MR Fisher and his appetite for Raccoon babies, how I remember the tears when “Midnight” my friend Barb’s cat got taken by a Fisher……
So when we moved here learned to despise Fishers…..
But then, about 10 years ago I had a friend come to see me – as a client – with the thread of a a rather nasty and debilitating condition hanging over her head. She is a gifted healer herself and this “thing” was threatening her independence and her livelihood. So we got to work on what was causing it and send it packing! As Medicine Gifts for that healing help she gave me a Fisher foot and a Bear Claw. During the “workings” I called on the Spirit of that Fisher to please forgive the trespass on his life and also asked, iffff he was willing to help getting rid of that problem. He was, and over all these years did a good job.
Since then that Fisher foot is on my Client Altar to help, keep my friend safe.
But soon / about a week after this shamanic session the first Fisher showed herself to me- in Animal form. I think, somewhere on this blog there is a post about it…. I have to look….
Anyway, that one we named Bissiger Beisse = “BB” = the Sharp-toothed Biting One”.
Soon after, even her mate appeared at the door. He is about twice as big as “BB” and had NO Fear of us at all and after only a day or 2 he took food from my hand, carefully keeping his sharp teeth in check.
Often he sat at the sliding door, waiting for me, to give him a treat.
Peter thought this was soooo extraordinary, that he made for me an FFO = A “Fisher Feeding Order, complete with a staff, a Fisher head-shot and a bunch of chocolate Easter eggs, for which Mr Fisher developed a craving……
When the snow melted, both Fishers disappeared back into the forest- and our Raccoons all re-emerged from their hibernation trees.
So we now have a positive relationship with the wild Fishers of our surrounding forest and the Ee’ren of the Fishers = the Manitou of them sometimes helps me on trance journeys, pointing out adversities a client faces but is not conscious about.
Is he one of my Miahanits?
No, He is one of my friend’s Miahanits for sure, although I am not sure if she, as an Anishinaabe lady would see it that way……
She is a reader here and I wonder, ifff she will speak to the matter……♥!
As I said, she is a gifted healer and I would love to beat the “word of mouth drum” for her.
We neeeeeeed many more like her.
A few months ago we finalllly invested in a new TV.
RCA and like everything else these days, it was manufactured in China.
About 6 weeks ago we suddenly noticed, that there was a bug in it.
Yes, literally! In the lower right quadrant of the view field there was a small centipede!
How did it get there?
What was even more disturbing was, that we soon noticed, that it was alive!!!
It mover around. It was obviously “stuck” somewhere at its mid- section, but head and tail crawled here and there as far up down. Right and left as the stuck mid- section allowed. Poor thing. My shamanic prayers always end with “Blessings to all my Relations” – meaning ALL life on Earth and beyond and “let there be no suffering”
So now, here, with the news we nightly also witnessed this poor Shape-Changer’s suffering.
We tried to get it out, but no luck. Kill it? Peter pressed a thumb on it- pushing onto the soft surface screen of the unit. Nothing. Its little antennas continued to move and its many feet moved here and there and tried to get free…..
Days passed. What is it eating, that it i still alive???
Then we went on vacation – for 8 days.
Upon our return – the little Creature was just as alive and strugggglingas before.
I started to get nightmares about being stuck and unable to get out.
Finally last night I sat in front of the TV and “concentrated”.
On the space widening and softening, on becoming “open”
When, after quite a while I opened my eyes again, the Centipede was gone!
I first could not belief that; but on the other hand, shamanizing always brings results. Often the ones we want, when, ifffff our “want” is in unison with Mother Earth.
Then, today around noon I noticed something.
A small movement on the floor 1 1/2 meters away from the TV and towards the sliding door to the deck.
Peter took a quick picture and then I took him/ her outside, to a half rotten log that was warmed by the sun.
Take care; winter will be here soon.
25.4. 2015 Shamanic journey:
I felt compelled to set up a little memorial Altar for all the People of Nepal.
The ones that passed
The ones that survived
The ones suffering The ones that are helping
I feel involved, because we have been there.
In this beautiful country with sooo many of its gentle people living in the simplest conditions – some in what WE call poverty.
Then I took my drum- urgently, because the trance was coming on fast.
A few beats and I was THERE!
Scenes drifted by with me as an observer…….
People in the streets – surprisingly mostly men – Where are the women? Where are the children?
Many men were holding cell phones – others were engaged in helping, digging away rubble – brick by brick…. Then a HUUUUUGE semi-transparent Snow Leopard – a Spirit Being jumping onto a huge pile of concrete and re-bar – a collapsed structure. Hissing and scratching with his see-through paws, then jumping of to grab a large brown mongrel dog with a black tipped tail and dragging it up onto the pile of debris – making it scratch – and bark – and so alerting the ever present men., who soon began clearing away smaller pieces of rubble – then trying to hand down a plastic water bottle – to no avail- the person below has his hands trapped ( and crushing injuries to his pelvis and abdomen) Not good for survival even if he makes it to one of the overcrowded hospitals. Someone opened the bottle and poured the continence over the man’s head and into his open mouth…….
Grey Spirit Beings, transparent, like the Snow leopard, walking away, up in the sky above…. Souls on their way towards re-incarnation.
Bhola! Where is Bhola?
I am looking through the window of my Mt. Kailash rock crystal.
From the fist size stone on my makeshift altar it has changed into a HUUUUGE mountain of ice, snow and clear crystal.
This one starts to tumble and roll, changes into an Earth sphere = where the whole world is seen like in an atlas. It lands with Europe on top –
Ah, I ge it, he is “over there! 🙂 I then see him, somewhere, in the city centre, in amongst some green plants, white shirt – maybe his shaman outfit – with some smudges of fresh blood on his chest, where his heart is – his heat is bleeding for all his people….he seems exhausted, but OK.
Then I am in ?
…. Bhaktapur -? The city centre is in ruin! Soo sad! The shop, just off Druban square, where I bought my nice Owl…. in ruin and rubble…. but no lives lost, just dust, bricks, wooden planks and broken carvings, large and small. People sifting through it, saving what they can…..
A few streets on the “drum shop” …. Bricks and wood and the ever present tangle of electricity lines – dust and debris, but the shop still stands, with part of the upper story of the house having come down… Here too people clearing the narrow lane way, saving what they can and not knowing, where to put stuff they recovered. …..
The Pottery market – where my Rhino is from – all just rubble, all just pottery shards….
The cobble stone plaza right before me starts to buckle and heave and out of the cobblestones a life sized Rhino emerges, shakes itself, looks at me: “It has always been like this – only “THIS” was not always here!” The primordial Beast shakes it’s head and moves off, down the street…..
Shiva, blue as always he is depicted dances upon the chest of a “monster”
He has done that for ages of eternity. But sometimes, on rhythmic occasions (having to do with 80 sun cycles ) the monster moves. Sometimes Shiva just looses a step or so, regains his balance and dances on.
No big deal. Sometimes Shiva stumbles- steps off the monster, with 1 foot….. and then steps back on, in his dance. Sometimes he loses his step, because the monster rears up quite a bit and both feet come off, then Chungmolungma grows and his backbone becomes higher – and yes, She also shakes off some of the snow, and it comes crashing down.
This dance has taken place for aeons. Sometimes the Monster beneath Shiva – which by now is clearly to be seen as a Green, living female Elder, releases the Nagas from caves deeeep down in her womb and they come forth as Snakes of molten rock……
Sometimes, Aeons ago, Some Beings living upon this Earth Elder – regardless of the dancing Shiva, get hurt, when She moves. Then they get trapped beneath Shiva’s feet- or swept down by beads of his sweat……
It was always like this! Shiva is blue = for truth!
Usually the Animal Beings sense, where Shiva’s feet are, and when the Earth woman moves- and they get out of the way – fast….. Most make it – others become food for the survivors and then become part of the Earth Woman – until she sweats them out and up to live between Shiva’s feet again…..
Now maaany of the Earth Beings have started to erect dwellings out of stone and wood upon the Earth Woman – right between Shiva’s feet. Sometimes he stubs his toes on them, when they get toooo high!
But now, when the Earth Woman moves, these dwellings topple over, killing them = returning them to her womb.
It happened before – it will happen again…… it is always a tragedy, when it happens.
But Shiva dances on, regardless.
The scenery shifts
I see a giant Turtle, swimming in??? The sky!?? – no, in the water, carrying the world, as in Native American world view. She too is very much alive, of course! She moves, her back shakes, then, she lowers her head and dives beneath the waters, while a HUUUUUGE wave washes over her back, drenching all that live there, washing some of them off into the sea. The Turtle re-emerges and swims on….
Somewhere I realize, the tone of the drum changed!
It is wet!
Everything is wet!
I too got drenched, when she moved??
The beautiful sun in which I started drumming had turned into yet another icy April shower and I better get “with it” and get inside, save all my things, dry them out and put dry cloth on!
By the time I did that, the sun is back out again – and through it all I still see Shiva dancing……
I re-erect the little Altar in the living room, adding my hand carved Owl from that shop in Bhaktapur.
Then I go outside and distribute the Gift for the Spirits of the Land – this land, where I live and The Land, we all inhabit.
A Sunflower Seed for everyone who died.
A Sunflower Seed for everyone who survived
A Sunflower Seed for everyone who is helping
A Sunflower Seed for everyone who feels connected
We are all connected.
Please Shiva, dance gently on Earth Woman!
I don’t know, I don’t know…
….shall I leave it , shall I go
I am toooo old,
I have no time
to put genetics
into my mind
Often in trance I see an array
of waving lines, that move and sway
asking my guides, what could they be
“It’s double Snakes, that you do see”
A double helix waves along,
but on its side, is something wrong,
That bluish blob does not belong.
What does it mean, that I there see
the cure could be?
will I learn that,
if I go
What healer am I,
that does not know…..
….……………….Mi-Shell J February 21
= when I’m awake…….
and it is night….
when I am talking
to my guide……
when I am asking
receive an answer –
– not always nice…
Soooo – I think, it is time for a little update as to what I am up to the days.
Well, busy for sure. Now in late October whenever the weather is halfway decent Peter and me are working hard – getting winter wood ready. Recent storms have brought down some huuuuge Maples, that we cut and carry out of the bush, section by section…..
Then there are a couple of craft shows coming up and while it is raining Cats, Dogs and Howler Monkeys – or rather Chipmunks, Weasels and caterwauling Catamounts we are making jewellery, lots of little things, that are fit for small budgets. Many of them are inspired by the recent trip to Bon Echo and Algonquin Park:
Spirit Boat petroglyph:
I am also making a few nice Medicine Pieces.
Like this Rattle for example:
here is another view
While sitting on working on pieces like this, I again think back on the “Vision-Teachings I received at Bon Echo and I yet again find myself drawing the pictographs seen on the face of the rocks = or their counterparts shimmering in the water onto the leather of my Medicine items.
The sonorous voice of a long-time enspirited Medicine Person reaches from the beyond into my ear – or rather my soul:
“They call it Bon Echo.
But not for the voices reflecting back from the rock walls.
The bon echo is the one coming of the Medicine Spirits as they dance in the Water and teach the People!”
I reflect about these reflections……..
Bon Echo indeed!