Into the Cave

7 of Coins:
When I drew this card this morning,

I had to laugh out loud!

See, yesterday evening we went to see the movie “Cave of forgotten Dreams” from Werner Herzog about the Chauvet Cave in France.
Now today, the 7 of Coins shows a prehistoric person painting on the wall of an ancient cave – supposedly Lascaux, but the Horse drawings above him on the wall look very much like the ones in Chauvet!

Yesterday we found it enigmatic and beautiful to see the amateurish film from/ about the elderly scientists exploring the cave, but we also wondered about all the strange avant guard and quite ‘squeaky”violin and cello music, that they used for the film and that none of them had any inkling about the shamanistic worldview of the people that painted these images. There also was a Reindeer fur clad guy, who plaid on a replica of the oldest Flute ever discovered.

And what did he play?

The Star spangled Banner  😦
With only o short shot and 1 sentence the Bear Skull Altar was mentioned in the film.

– and then back to religious music….

The scientists were all christians and to even talk about shamanism for them means risking their carrier and their reputation…..


Today in the 7 of Coins I am seeing a person that although lived 30 000 years ago, has much the same worldview as I do…. that is enigmatic. although back then people did not paint with a paint Brush like in the card image, he looks at me and I see eye to eye with him on many levels…. What would he think about my life here today?


So: How was my day after drawing this card?
20/ 20:
Well, no, I did not paint a cave today
A client of mine asked me to present a shamanic teaching circle about love using the Medicine Wheel as a paradigm – for her grandchildren. So I sequestered myself for a while into my Spirit Cave and planed that event. It will happen on Thursday at a Medicine Wheel I build with the family last year.
I will need a lot of loving patience when working with these precious young Souls.
The patience that is a virtue of the 7 of coins will help me…..

… and yes, the prehistoric man in the image would understand all about love and concern for children in the circle of the family….


here some infos about Chauvet Cave and the world’s oldest flute:

Sacred Sites – Nazca

Recently a wonderful present arrived in my home:

The Sacred sites Tarot

 There are quite a few cards that – better than any other image – for me personally embody and enliven the concept of certain RWS meanings.

Let me try to explain what I mean on the example of the 8 of Wands:

The Condor soaring high over the mysterious Nazca lines:

Yes! It clearly shows the meaning of having to rise high above a creative project, situation and get a Bird’s eye view of the situation / the project.

Only from up here we can see the whole “landscape as it now presents itself.

All its hills and valleys, all the extend of the labyrinthine path below/ the convoluted winding intertwined interconnected ways of a situation / problem……


The Condor looks with detachment down upon the creation of humans.

= We are looking at it from the vantage point of a different species. 

We are getting the detached perspective of a Being outside of the situation.

Like a counselor sees a marriage and all its problems with a more detached overview.

Like I “see” through the eyes of one of my Owls and then can point out things previously unnoticed and also ways out of the labyrinth of problems…..

Out of the desert-like, energy draining trackway the person is stuck in and running through again and again over towards the nourishing waters of new fertility / ideas, behavior and release……

What better metaphor for the 8 of Wands than the Condor speedily flying over it all and seeing it all… 🙂

 That is something I always said about the Nazca lines:

They are labyrints, to be walked in a sacred manner. Each step each drop of sweat a gift to the Spirits.

The Animal geoglyphs  are just that = labyrinths.

NOT maizes, where you get lost.

 These geoglyphs  portray the sacred worldview of the people that created them: Learn from the Hummingbird – Chilpalmilto the Fighting Jewel! For some South American tribal people he stands for the 2 chambers of the human heart: Love and Hate – Compassion and Fight…

Learn from the Monkey and his roundabout circular round and round again sooo human -like tail spinning spiral. Learn about his ways while you walk this gigantic labyrinth in the heat and dry air – or the freezing night up on the plateau – and see what you learn about the human condition.

The human- like Owl Man/ Being is also often called the “astronaut figure” . Here it  is drawn up the hill however – not so much labyrinth but steeeeeep climb leading – where?

Straight into the head, where our ideas come from – and all our machinations and ruminations.

Into the head and around – but NOT into the eyes!!= towards sacred vision.


Were the eye circles sacred altars once?

I would check that – go there, just touch the Earth…..

It would “speak”

Was it the Owl that was to see while soaring over the labyrinths at night?

Were there offerings left for her? – For the Rodent prey of the Owl People that is?

Corn and Grains that brought rodents out of their burrows?

So Owl man could feed?

Or were there offerings of putrid meat – of the recently dead, that were left for Condors to come from far and wide – to strip the bones bare?

To take them up to their nests up high in the mountains?

The Condor: Was the Condor their Messenger to the Great Mystery?  Condors are highly revered all over ancient and modern South America.  The Condor alone could see the whole picture – the whole mystery…..

Some people said the geoglyphs are to be seen by the stars! ??

?– At night, in the dark?

The Star People might be too high up above to see it….

I am coming back to the Condor – who flies in the rising heat of the morning Sun…..

and the Owl – Messenger of the darkness of mind and shadow, through which we often stumble…..

Daily draws with the Mary El Tarot

My shamanistic worldview permeates everything in my life:

My work as an artist, my work with my clients and patients and also, how I see art – and the art depicted on Tarot cards.

Sometimes nothing special is “dredged up”

– and sometimes I “go deeeeep”

Welcome to the wild mix of the last few days:

Day 1:

Queen of Disks:

Worm Mother!

You dissolved my sister

3 years ago.

All that is left

are my tears

…. and her diamonds…..


Day 2:

The Wheel of fortune:

The Lady at the helm of her Spirit Boat:

Marseille was back then and is still now a harbor town, who’s luck depended on commerce and the ships from across the sea reaching port with the cargo in sellable condition.

With the Wheel being 10, the skipper is now in experienced enough to be in charge of his ship, his Soul boat.

She has to make decision to sail at all – or safely stay in port – and forgo the chances of rich rewards, because wind, weather, rain, currents and tides may very well leave her at the mercy of fate.

So, bare = naked in the face of the elements he/ she has to rely on feminine intuition and gut feelings (the wheel is at the place of her gut) to steer the ship onward to its destination – or into destiny

The fiery red and somewhat woody hair shows her bravery as well as her stoicism.

The white blindfold alludes to her pure intentions and also that still she has some of the 0, the innocence of the Fool about her.

The flower is at the place of her yony. She is wide open to the experience.


Day 3:

The Hermit is being swept away:

I see the wave of time cresting over him, spewing white wisdom and deep blue emotion that are threatening to drown him. Small swirls of yellow light hint at the glimpses of recognition we have in this sea of wisdom. But the wave is also sweeping him – and so all of us away, onward, before we can consciously grasp it all with aging frail hands.


Day 4:

The Devil makes me write this:

No, Marie, this Devil does not do it for me. Not at all.:(

He/ she is – yes – purple is the he / she color = a mixture of blue and red, but this He/ she devil is way tooooo symmetrical to be real. Too perfect to be taken seriously. There is no fire, no passion, no sexuality, no lust, that addresses the existence of all my hidden lust, leachery and neeeeeeds.

No abyss, no horror either.

Nothing that makes me dread – and fear, so as not to walk all over him

No danger, no warning of consequences,

no trickster spirit, no coowing, crowing greedy grin,

no tempest of temptation. Encountering him in a theta trance journey I would just walk right on by – or through this one, utterly unimpressed.

There are thousands like him, dead and starring…

Like commercials on TV, utterly over-designed and mechanistic/ formulaic

Too perfect, this cute little Lucifer, the top model after which the cristian god – by his own mistake fabricated his followers..

Whirrrrrling Snakes! Well. OK, so what?

I love Snakes …..

I touch them, pick them up, carry them around, rescue them out of bathrooms, I even ate one once. No, it did not taste like chicken….

I know Serpent Power, when it is rising up my spine when I do healing work…..

But this Devil? He does not really deserve Snakes. Put a little bunny with him

to tempt me to steal it…..

and see, what happens!??

With this one?

I bet you, Nothing will happen!


Day 5:

3 of cups:

Nice card.
A river dividing into 3 waterfalls.
So very NOT Mary El.
The message: There are always at least 3 ways to look at something.
In our Siberian tribal belief it says: 3 sides you see, 3 sides stay hidden
3 ways to judge
and fair


Day 6:


Have you turned into a gray haired Pussycat?

Lounging laid back lasciviously in Lilly ponds while licking Lotus?

Where is Mananan?

Foaming wildness that pummeled the drowning Hermit

…. once…………………

…………….64 aeons ago?

Mixed messages and sadness seen through the Gaian Tarot

I had this deck on my wish list for ages.
Now, when I look at it I am wondering: What was I thinking!!??
-Well, it was back in the time, when I was on strict dial up and could not look at scans of decks or load the web sites of deck creators.
Yesterday I looked through the cards, and honestly, there are just 25 cards I like and from these only 3 I really like….
So many others are – what I feel as being “tacky” or “kitsch”.
Today I did not dare to use it for a reading for a client… It just did not feel right at all.
Now I am curious to find out how this week will develop:


8 = Strength
Strength is a good card for me today, reminding me, – to use what I know I have at my disposal.
And here it stops
I do NOT like this card image at all!
I do not even want to describe it. A baby lion with a crown of pink flowers on his head being cradled by a dreamy looking lady dressed in pink and yellow scarves and ….

….oh forget it all, to me THAT is kitsch!

Child of Water:
The word invokes a very specific meaning deep in my knowledge and experience base: Child of Water is one of the 2 hero twins of the Dine’h Nation. The one, that knows the trance and knows how to heal and taught all the healing sings to the humans….
I have a very special connection to that one. My Inde’ teacher was also called a ‘tubadejine’ ….

On the card however, there is a scene like on the water’s edge at a lake.Sea weed, shells in crystal clear water, a star Fish, a hermit crab.
BUT there is a kid, maybe 3 years of age, purple dress white sun hat…
This is a REAL child = someone’s kid!

I am thrown out of whatever I was thinking and I have the feeling, I have to know this child = who’s kid this is…. It is a photograph… put into the image…..
Somehow this kills this being a Tarot card – for me….



Explorer of Water:
There is a young guy on a surf board, catching the wave, standing up and racing it, dolphin at his side…
He looks quite like a Neanderthal youth…. from the facial features….. the fleeing chin… I still have my brain stuck in the Tarot of the Origins….
The card’s message = fast forward into the present….


8 of Water
A woman with dark hair is swimming in green ?? clear water. The shore with rocks and Tree stumps is visible in the background.
Again, the feeling, that I am supposed to know this woman, She is on/ in other cards too. I am not in the “in crowd” I am not part of the inside information.
I should go into the web site and look the card up. But I do not feel like sitting on the computer doing this.
Life happens AWAY from the pooooooter!!! This photograph tells me nothing about today.
Its message to me?? go swimming??????
Stay above water?? immerse yourself??? Move on your own power through a different element?
Be a woman out in Nature?  I an that.
It is +2C the creek is ice covered. 3 crows are slip/sliding around there. Not time to jump in for me….
I will immerse myself in my day…..


3 of Waters
That one is a nice card!
3 sea Otters are playing in a kelp bed.
Otters are forever playful and gregarious.
We here have a family of river otters and now is the time to watch them playing on the rapidly melting ice, sliding from hole to hole, chasing each other, sliddering and splashing in the melt water.
What a nice site to see. the card helps to up-lift my gloomy mood.
Skitter, the Raccoon boy we hand raised all last year came out of hibernation, played with me for about an hour and then disappeared…
That was a week ago.

Since then – nothing…..
Who ate my child?

Thursday :

The 10 of Air
is a beautiful card:14 large magnificent Birds (Canada Geese? or Sandhill Cranes??) are flying in formation before the backdrop of beautiful sun-lit rosy purple clouds.
they are telling me, to rise above it, move on, but I am in 10 of Swords mood – since a few days now.
By now I am sure, Skitter has been killed, most likely by one of the many large predators out there, starving at this time of the year and just waiting for a happy, well fed young Raccoon to bumble along.
It is true, the air outside is filled with Birds returning. Spring is here.
I am frozen in sadness.
I try nor to think about it, but that does not work.


10 of Fire:

The forest is burning – on the card only – for now…. thick smoke billows up, partially blackens out a rising slope on which mature Black Spruce Trees are fully engulfed in flames.

What will be left after this is utter destruction and a charred blackened Earth. But Black Spruce have cones, that will only open during a fire and only then release their seeds into the charcoal covered ground they need for germination.

Here, today in mid March we have + 15 Celsius at 10.00 am. It is at least 10 degrees too warm-about 12-15 degrees above what used to be normal for this time of year.

If this trend continues for the rest of the year as it has during this month – and as it is predicted by the weather experts, we will have a “summer of death as they already are beginning to call it. Scorching heat, tornadoes and heavy thunderstorms – like the one we had yesterday, when my house was directly hit by lightning and the power was knocked out.

Large scale forest fires are predicted, droughts and all kinds of other calamities…..

I do hope they are wrong.

This stuff is the last we all need….

Global warming…….

It is here.


Ice Age anyone?

The Tarot of the Origins

will be my deck for this week. I am currently reading 2 books about Ice age art and life ways as well as what ethnologist are finding out about belief systems and spirituality at the dawn of civilization. culture and spirituality. The images of the Tarot of the Origins go very well with this theme and my thoughts about creating some jewelry out of the Mammoth tusk pieces we still have from a dig east of Dawson City in the Yukon.

Daily draw:

card 12 of the suite of emotions:

Animal of Soul


What a card to start my week.

The huuuuuuge head of a woolly Rhino dominates the center, just waaaay back in the upper part of the image a human hunter with shield and spear is visible.

It feels as if the Animal is stomping away from him, whirling up dust and dirt and whatever else is in its way…

What, if the beast decides to turn around and face its puny little opponent?

With this HORN !!!!!!is the hunter alone, or are his pals nearby? Can you / can I imagine going after some foe like this – in an attempt to get dinner?

Because eat them we did! In the middle Paleolithic =“30 000years ago, Rhinos made up about 16% of what our Ancestors ate. Later, in the Magdalenian, the time of the beautiful cave paintings, it was less than 1%.

Would we women have joined the hunt?

Me with 56-certainly not, I would be ancient oooold and probably back at camp, taking care of the kids, that for sure were kept out of nose- width of this Rhino.

Well, there is another card with a Rhino in this deck: Death

Here the sandy brown Rhino has speared a puny little human onto its huuuuuuge horn, lifting him into the blood red sky.

A powerful vision of how a warrior or hunter meets the Ancestor Spirits!

Since Rhinos were more and more rare in the landscape, what would our Ancestors have thought about them?

What shamanistic Powers would they have attributed to them?

What myth?

What stories of the hunt would have been told?

Who saw the last Rhino on the steppes of central Europe?

Were there any over here in North America?

Who will see the very last wild Rhino in modern day Africa?

Could we save it from extinction?

For today?

The stern warning is: Do not engage what you may not be able to escape from.

I hope, that does not pertain to the Tarot of the Origins

Mother Earth the Turtle

Healing Earth Tarot
7 of Shields
The blue waves of the sea surround a spooked wheel with the Great Turtle and her eggs in its Center.
For me this card encompasses a whole world view:
Mother Earth the Turtle
floating within the blue blanket of Father Sky.

She is seen with her 7 eggs, symbolizing the future of us all, hinting at the next 7 generations following ours, the people, for whom we need to steward and protect our living Mother, so in turn She will continue to nurture and feed all of her living children residing on her broad back.
All the creation myth of the First Nations, in which Mother Earth the Turtle feature prominently float through my mind.

Here is one, often told in our Longhouse:

The Earth on Turtle’s Back
Long time ago, before the Earth was here, all was water. Many creatures lived in the water, swimming about. Far above the clouds, there was, however, a land where lived a powerful chief. His wife was going to have a baby. In that Sky land was a great tree with four large roots, stretching out to each of the four sacred directions, and bearing many kinds of fruits and flowers.

One night the chief’s wife dreamed that the great tree had been uprooted. The chief perceived that this was a dream of great power, and thus must be fulfilled. With great effort, the tree was uprooted, leaving a large hole in the sky. The chief’s wife leaned to look through the hole, but lost her balance and fell.

Grasping at the tree as she fell, she only managed to hold onto a handful of seeds. The water creatures below saw her falling. They realized that she was not a water creature and tried desperately to think of a way to help her.

“I have heard,” said one, “that there is earth far below the waters. Perhaps we should try to get some for her to stand upon.”

One by one the animals tried to dive down far enough to retrieve land, but one by one they failed. Finally, brave little muskrat tried one last time. Deeper and deeper she dove until her little lungs almost burst. Suddenly she found a bit of land. Scooping it up, she frantically swam to the surface. But alas, where to put the land?

The Turtle said, “Put it on my back. I will hold up the Land and the Sky Woman.” And so they did. Sky woman landed safely on Turtle’s back and was very thankful. She cast the seeds about.

The Land on the Turtle’s back became ever so beautiful. The tiny piece of Earth on the turtle’s back began to grow.

It grew and grew and grew until it formed an island in the water. The island grew larger and larger, but still the turtle bore the weight of the Earth on his back. A huge island sat in the middle of the water, and today that island is known as North America or  “Turtle Island.

But not only the Native Americans have stories about the Great Turtle, the Chinese do too and so do tribal people in Africa and Australia.
Turtle is universal.
Turtle provides grounding for all our high flying ideas, asking questions of sustainability and consideration for all life on this small and so very fragile planet.
It asks each and every one of us to do their part, not only lip service and – maybe a little recycling…..

Mother Earth the Turtle is a recurring subject in my art.
Again and again She appears,
As bone carving on a Medicine pouch,
As petroglyph drawing on a drum.
As a pendant or pin in the jewelry I make my living with…..
Each and every time I draw Her, carve Her, cut Her shape out of Sterling silver or any other metal, I am speaking her message – and the message of all my Relations.
Inspired by this card, I will today, yet again create a Turtle, draw a Turtle, speak of Turtles……

Will you hear me?

Daily draws over the last few days

Deck: Minchiate Fiorentine   

I did not have time to post daily draws here every day, so here are the last 4 days in order:

Minchiate Fiorentine

10 of swords

9 Swords create a pattern on the card. The tenth one is a different one, a kind of dagger.

There are lots of smudges on this card – created to make users get that “old deck feeling”

I am looking at these smudges and wonder, if they are blood smudges, in need to be cleaned up.

The phone rings – at 9.00 am??? who will it be, Peter is running up the stairs…….


Someone we knew, who  had depression but did not want to admit it and get help, committed suicide.

His wife is now back at home cleaning up the mess of a shattered life, says, she is fine and refuses help.

I KNOW she is NOT “fine” how can she!!!!
But ….. what can I do…

Realize, that the smudges of this card are blood and RIGHT NOW are being washed away by her tears………

Minchiate Fiorentine:


a biiiiig Crab

suspended in mid air….
The card is Cancer. I hate that word. It is like falling into the icy cold gray water

That is, what is drawn in thin straight lines below that large brown crustacean.
I do not want to talk about cancer, the disease.
Not today…
Do NOT get me started….
I still feel “crabby” because of the sad news yesterday and all the details emerging today….
I also feel suspended in NO man’s land
No woman’s land
No land…
No creativity either. I should be making a beautiful pouch…. I do not have the right Energy. Not today…..
And the energy I do have should not go into someone’s Medicine piece or tool….

I have NOOOOOO clue about the signs of the Zodiac.
But gregory gave me a book: the Astrology Bible!- ?? Bible?? I am suspicious! – and – crabby!!
I will stick my crabby nose into the Astrology Bible and learn about this suspended crustacean.
Luckily you all know more about it than me, so I do not have to report back…
And YOU better not ask….
… says crabby little me….


Minchiate Fiorentine:

XXXI Pisces

Gone fishing!

Rainbow Trout anyone?

I got 2 of them here.

One facing up. The other down. Both are attached to each other by a string of some sort. A small white duck – or rather an seagull swims in the spot exactly between them in the blue water.

Somehow the card feels colorful and serene.

Yet again no clue about yet another Zodiac sign.

But Gregory’s bible will be eager to teach me!

Oh yes, according to that one my mother was a Pisces person. But the attributes stated in the book do not fit her at all.

How come??

What would she have said to the stuff written about having Pisces as a sign?

Minchiate Fiorentine:


The Rainbow-tailed Water Goat!!!

another anthropomorphic Spirit I feel has a rather cheery disposition, smiling froendly – almost a little high on swirrrly Caracol (Nautilus)- like Rainbow power in his tail. He is holding a yellow staff between his front hoofs and – that’s what I do not like – resting the staff on top of a small and miserable looking Turtle that tries to swim on the surface of the water…..

OK, Goat for us in Siberia means good fortune and wealth. Also male prowess, if it is about an male Animal. Rainbow is also fortuitous, the Rainbow leads to the Sky World Where the 9 beautiful Swan Maidens live. A Nautilus shell to me symbolizes the Spiral of life and the realm of the Otherworld, who’s voices speak to the initiated when you listen into the hollow of the shell.

Yes, yes, I know, all this is nonsense because it has nothing to do with what this card is supposed to mean – or meant to the People who engaged with

Minchiate cards in Renaissance Italy.

In order to find out, what I am Supposed to be thinking, be reminded of, when I see this card I have to go to the book and learn. That is at least what Mother Earth the miserable Turtle is thinking: “Get that damn stick of my back, will you!”

“Sorry, Mother Earth, I can not change the card, you will have to dive down below the surface of the choppy water, if you want to get away from this Rainbow Goat”

And reading books will ave to wait, because I am just going to use Rainbow Goat’s cheerful song and go clean up my messy house. I have a client coming later this afternoon. She had cancer a few years ago,but now is loosing weight again…….

I will drum and see, what I “see”.

Hopefully all Rainbows and cheerful news….

– – — – – – – – – – – — — – – – – – 20/20:- – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Much much later, in the quiet hours of the late evening I find some time to read up about the Zodiac sign of Capricorn

the lady in my care today was NOT Capricorn, but reading all my – or better Gregorie’s Astrology  Bible had to say about Capricorn fitted her VERY well.

What does THAT say about my book?????

What does that say about stereotyping people according to zodiac signs?????

Aren’t we all unique?