OK, I better start from the beginning:
they phoned from Toronto, if they could come up and see me to”fix a problem”
I can not fix problems, but I could maybe find out, why the problem is there…..
They are a young couple, he Korean, she originally from New Zealand married since 7 years, no baby – in spite of 2 expensive rounds of IVF.
N – I will call her Nina, although this is not her real name – was pregnant but at 5 1/2 month had lost the baby in the spring 2 years ago and since then “just was not quite right”
She was on antidepressants but would need to get of them to start another round of IVF.
We talk about all the things that loosing a baby can do to your soul….. they know, they went to several doctors……
He, – I will call him Harry, now wants to know, if the Ancestors are angry with them; all his brothers and sisters have kids……
He is a carrier man – not used to not get his way…..
He had given offerings, flowers, prayers, also money for a kinder garden back in Korea…… A Mundang had told him, all was well, but – why this problem?
I feel sorry for Nina. She looks sad and exhausted and a little embarrassed. She would do anything, not to be the problem anymore….
I take them upstairs, put Nina onto the Bear fur, fiddle with my broken old stereo, until it agrees to play my old drumming tape, then pick up my drum and call my Spirits. The whole gang arrives quickly and settles around Nina, who looks, as if she had gone to sleep. Harry sits in the rocking chair with Fretty at his feet….
So he is not the problem …. Good to know…..
I drum and then sit on my Reindeer fur and let the trance wash me away. Lira flies ahead through a dark snowy landscape to a bright hole in the sky ahead. I hurry to follow her. Finally we get there. It had gotten mighty big and it smells like flowers and honey.
Bursting out into the light, Lira changes into a Parrot with bright red and blue plumage.
I find myself on a large sunny terrace, made from brown clinker, there are terracotta flowerpots everywhere and every imaginable flower of every color is growing in them. There is a colorful umbrella and deck chairs, a multitude of small Birds are singing. It is very warm.
Above the Bird song I make out a voice: ”Ammah! Ammah it says.
Ammah? I try to think, always a bad idea during trance the scene wavers and almost bursts.
The loving face of my friend Anne shimmers through the sun light.
Yölle, the sun is getting bigger and bigger, engulfing everything in searing yellow.
Yölle koko yah……
The sun chant! “ Yölle and Ammah” the Parrot caws…. and I see Anne’s face floating over the terrace, while Yölle herself is still getting bigger and bigger….. the brick wall behind me is getting hotter and hotter and I feel myself melting.
Anne floating on a sunny terrace?
I try to think, before I melt away, while all the Flowers and Birds on the terrace are unaffected by the heat.
Then the recognition burns through the heat into my brain
Ammah is what Ann’s grand children call her!
Ammah Terrace Sun!!!!
As the thought form enters my brain the Sun gets huuuuuuuge becomes a colorfully robed female Elder that carries a huge fan of hot wind –
then the scene dissolves – just melts like yellow butter.
Which is as well, because I know, “I got it”
Back on my Reindeer fur I drum over Nina for a while, , then let the drum sound fade out and after both charges are awake I take them downstairs and out onto our upper deck, I make Nina sit in the warm afternoon Sun.
I make her put her face right into the Sun, tell her to soak it up.
Because THAT is, what she neeeeeeds!
That is “the problem”
I ask, when Nina came to Canada. 4 years ago, in October….
She works in a ………(emitted) company in an open concept office cubicle in Mississauga. It is a 9 to 5 job. Then home on the subway. They have a nice large condo in another highrise with all the amenities right there – yes, unfortunately facing away from the lake, but lake view is too expensive….
Well, away from the lake means facing North = NO Sun!
No Sun all day for a person from New Zealand with some Maori ancestry?
She came here in the fall, when it gets quite dark, the no Sun, and quite cooooold time.
Then she lost the baby and fell into depression and now can not climb out again… out of the dark hole.
Amaterasu, the Japanese Sun Goddess, so the legend goes, was in a dark cave and did not want to come out, until someone shone a bright light into her cave and she could feel joy again.
Amaterasu is an excellent picture for SAD = seasonal Affective Disorder.
Come out of the cave, Nina, sit in the sun, have your office moved – or at least get yourself a full spectrum lamp. One for the office and one for home. Move condos , not to lake view = South, but to West, where you get some Sun in the evening, when you get home.
It is sooooooo typical!
Harry has his blackberry (or is it a smart phone??) out, gooooogeling SAD and the prices of bright full spectrum light lamps.
He now knows what to do.
Nina feels ”as if something important inside her just moved”
She says, she can not belief it – yet,- but she can feel it.
I am pleased but direct our talk towards observing and ultimately controlling depressive thoughts and ruminations as well as negative self talk…..
They both are getting homework to improve in this area.
I smudge them and sing the Yölle chant for them again before they leave……
More on SAD: