Mazinaw Manitous!



The vision/teaching

as received:



“Be still – and listen!


This is the way…

….the way it was always done

… the people:

Mashkikiwe’ agaaming”  ~Lake Medicine

Be still The Spirits are with you

“The waters open

and the Manitous come


from the cracks”





Some see them…..

…….others do not.

They just see the reflections

in the water……”




“As above, so below…..


…..Until it is not…..”


“Ojika’ago biishin…..

Spirits dance out of the cracks

….not in the rock walls

….but in the waters!”


“And so the shaman becomes a Manitou”

“Wearing the Boat.”


“More than ordinary knowledge”

“It comes from the Teachers in the Spirit Cave”

“Go there!”


Spirit Cave

“The canoe

flies through the Sky world!”

DSCN4848 - Copy


“The Shaman speak to Thunderbirds!”

“Then – becomes the Thunderbird…..

Thunderbird reflection

and paints it in wunamin……”

“Mu zi nu hi gun…”

“Find the boat



of the Moose!”



In Spirit it’s all the same….”



Loooook into the Flame!

Flame open eye meditation/ trance:

Back in our ritual room, were instructed to sit still in front of our small flame, fed by sesame oil,

– to look into the flame.

– Un-blinking

– Focus!

The very air surrounding us and moving the flame is the air our Ancestors were breathing. There is no other.

– Focus!

– NO blinking,

– Even when tears start to flow……

I have no idea, if tears started to flow.

At some point the flickering light became the central fire in the large Clan Tzartan of my Ancestors……

.On the wide open Reindeer pastures of North Western Tuva……

stood at the fire.

I stood on my braids, which were sooooo long, they reached the floor.

Through them I was rooted to the land of my Ancestors.

One of the female Elders, Moon Child’s Auntie, was drumming right behind me.

There was a pot of Reindeer stew hanging on the wooden tripod over the flames. I was offered a plate and Es’ lahi fed me with a horn spoon…..

Tears of joy and happiness flowed down my cheeks!

I was HOME!

I was SOOOOO happy!

Then at the same time there was movement in the ritual room – and singing drifting in and out of the vision… Bhola and the group….

In and out…

I was at 2 places at the same time……


Grandmother Chant

Ya no maa…..

My Inde’ teacher taught me the Ya no maa chant waaaaay back, when I was 21.

-Actually I should rather write it like this:

Ya’no ma’a’

…because of the way “a” is vocalized in Inde’….

He taught me this chant and several others and then, when I was keyed into the melody, the inner voice of it, (what we in the West would call “entrained”, then he had me sing/chant my own words to the melody.

Anything that came to my mind, anything I needed, anything I was “calling out for” or “calling in”

So since then, that is what I do: I chant the Ya no maa

and then…….

. This one is for my Grandmother and my Great Grandmother….

. the women of my lineage:

It’s the right time of year for a chant like this.

When the trance comes, so does Grandmother Ulaly

… and we talk….

2 New Chants, that I “found”

I never know, where the chants come from.

They are “out there”, in the Medicine Lines called the “collective unconscious” by CG Jung

I drum…..

…..the trance comes……

….. flirrrrry lines, sparkling in the bluish blackness…..

…..then somehow the drum rhythm changes….

….. a melody instead of a steady beat……

….. and then words drift in……

….. after a while I just sing along…..

…..Then, after a while it is time, to come back.


Will I remember the chant, the melody, the words…

It is easier, when that is in English….

But sometimes it is not……

What language is it?

Questions the analytical mind will ask –

– and I may or may not have the answer…..





Artwork  by Frank Howell

and Khambra Scarre

How I got my very first Guardian:

I have told you about Fretty, right?!!
Fretty is a Ferret, not a domestic one, but a Siberian one. Fretty has 6 siblings, whom I just remember from when I was small. (They were my Spirit friends – or imaginary friends as we would say here today 🙂 )

I had an imaginary leash and was leading them along wherever I went. My parents knew well about it and my dad showed me pictures in a book about all kinds of Animals, until finally I recognized Fretty, but he still was a little different then the domesticated Ferrets and it took a book about Siberian Wildlife, borrowed from a friend of my dad’s, to find out who Fretty and his siblings were.
My mother was not so pleased, in spite of Ferrets having a quite honorable standing within Gypsy culture and many Roma were known and hired as Ferreters. (hunting Rabbits with Ferrets so the rabbits do not destroy vegetable crops)
Today Fretty is one of my Spirit Helpers, a quite opinionated one that is.
He is GREAT at finding out information.



Somewhere in the archives my teaching notes for my students  there is the story about my first NDE, how I almost died of Diphtheria and in the grip of deadly fever Umai-Ee’ne appeared and did not take me back with her but promised me to send someone who would watch over me and then shortly after that I then received my first real E’eren/ Clan Guardian from Her…..

=Ha! 🙂 I found it:


When I was 2 1/2 my mother and I went on a small child’s scooter down the steep street…

A rock…. and crash!!!!

Mother fell on top of me and I was unconscious for a loooong time.

I “dreamed” that there was a strange animal laying on my chest it smelled strange too, slim and small with a masked face and sharp little claws..
I got better … 3 months later I got diphtheria and was VERY close to death.
There was a VERY BEAUTIFUL young strange woman that came out of a glazing flimmering light! She wore white leather and red ribbons around the sleeves of that dress. She had loooong black braids and on a leash beside her feet there were 7 of those critters!!!!
She said: I can not take you back right now, I already have 7! You are FROM me but these are not for you!

In a …?? time I will send you your own animal from your Clan and HE !! will protect you!
She dissolved into the flirring light and I woke up and told my mother that I had seen an Angel with black braids and 7 …????!!!!! and what she had said!

My mom was overjoyed, that I was all better and recovering now. Being Gypsy and so not too unfamiliar with things, to her Animal Guardians like this were well known, although she had hoped, I would not “wake up to the Blood” sooo soon and so did not follow up on the matter.

But my father took me Very serious and made me repeat and later draw the things I saw, He and I loooooked through Animal books and we found ….
Black footed Ferrets = Frettchen my mother noted as being important Guardians for Gypsy people!


one afternoon about a year later all of a sudden – there was the flirring light again and the Lady appeared for less then a split second and then a LAAAArge slim, scrawny and what today I would describe as mangy looking Wolf jumped into / above me. —- Suspended in mid air he was, as the vision made my body shake (peed my …) and I got a VERY hot feeling up my spine and was shaking like a leave on a tree. I smelled him, his fur kind odd wet – ( nooo not like my pants!!)
and … then he was inside me…… and is there as my Guardian ever since!

As I learned from my father, Wolf is our Siberian Clan Animal.

My father is / was Siberian T. (tribal name omitted for privacy reasons) Wolf Clan and found it very auspicious, that our Clan Guardian appeared to me like this. Our Clan is patrilineal and to him it meant, that I was“special” and that “Eeren Börü, the Wolf-Guardian has taken a personal interest in me, more so than is normally expected. He slaughtered a Sheep from our flock, painted the blood on my forehead and hands and we had a feast with Mutton stew.

I was quite a bit scarrrred about the Biiiiig Wolf inside me at first, but it turned out a Powerful protector. The best friend of my every day ego,,

My “tonal” guide, the one who keeps my body and my Self save and intact when I am in trance. The one that saved me in a Christian orphanage when I was beaten,tortured and later exorcised, because I did refuse communion’s…. (another looong sad story…..)

picture from google

For the benefit of my students I often call him Ari’

but that is only “close” to his name….

Ammah,Terrace, Sun?

Ammah,Terrace, Sun?


OK, I better start from the beginning:

they phoned from Toronto, if they could come up and see me to”fix a problem”

I can not fix problems, but I could maybe find out, why the problem is there…..

They are a young couple, he Korean, she originally from New Zealand married since 7 years, no baby – in spite of 2 expensive rounds of IVF. 

N – I will call her Nina, although this is not her real name – was pregnant but at 5 1/2 month had lost the baby in the spring 2 years ago and since then “just was not quite right”

She was on antidepressants but would need to get of them to start another round of IVF.

We talk about all the things that loosing a baby can do to your soul….. they know, they went to several doctors……

He, – I will call him Harry, now wants to know, if the Ancestors are angry with them; all his brothers and sisters have kids……

He is a carrier man – not used to not get his way…..

He had given offerings, flowers, prayers, also money for a kinder garden back in Korea…… A Mundang had told him, all was well, but – why this problem?

I feel sorry for Nina. She looks sad and exhausted and a little embarrassed. She would do anything, not to be the problem anymore….

I take them upstairs, put Nina onto the Bear fur, fiddle with my broken old stereo, until it agrees to play my old drumming tape, then pick up my drum and call my Spirits. The whole gang arrives quickly and settles around Nina, who looks, as if she had gone to sleep. Harry sits in the rocking chair with Fretty at his feet….

So he is not the problem …. Good to know…..

I drum and then sit on my Reindeer fur and let the trance wash me away. Lira flies ahead through a dark snowy landscape to a bright hole in the sky ahead. I hurry to follow her.  Finally we get there.  It had gotten mighty big and it smells like flowers and honey.

Bursting out into the light, Lira changes into a Parrot with bright red and blue plumage.

I find myself on a large sunny terrace, made from brown clinker, there are terracotta flowerpots everywhere and every imaginable flower of every color is growing in them. There is a colorful umbrella and deck chairs, a multitude of small Birds are singing. It is very warm.

Above the Bird song I make out a voice: ”Ammah! Ammah it says.

Ammah? I try to think, always a bad idea during trance the scene wavers and almost bursts.

The loving face of my friend Anne shimmers through the sun light.


Anne?? What….

Yölle, the sun is getting bigger and bigger, engulfing everything in searing yellow.

Yölle koko yah……

The sun chant! “ Yölle and Ammah” the Parrot caws…. and I see Anne’s face floating over the terrace, while Yölle herself is still getting bigger and bigger….. the brick wall behind me is getting hotter and hotter and I feel myself melting.


Anne floating on a sunny terrace?

I try to think, before I melt away, while all the Flowers and Birds on the terrace are unaffected by the heat.

Then the recognition burns through the heat into my brain

Ammah is what Ann’s grand children call her!

Ammah Terrace Sun!!!!


As the thought form enters my brain the Sun gets huuuuuuuge becomes a colorfully robed female Elder that carries a huge fan of hot wind –

then the scene dissolves  – just melts like yellow butter.

Which is as well, because I know, “I got it”

Back on my Reindeer fur I drum over Nina for a while, , then let the drum sound fade out and after both charges are awake I take them downstairs and out onto our upper deck, I make Nina sit in the warm afternoon Sun.

I make her put her face right into the Sun, tell her to soak it up.

Because THAT is, what she neeeeeeds!

That is “the problem”

I ask, when Nina came to Canada. 4 years ago, in October….

She works in a ………(emitted) company in an open concept office cubicle in Mississauga. It is a 9 to 5 job. Then home on the subway. They have a nice large condo in another highrise with all the amenities right there – yes, unfortunately facing away from the lake, but lake view is too expensive….

Well, away from the lake means facing North = NO Sun!

No Sun all day for a person from New Zealand with some Maori ancestry?

She came here in the fall, when it gets quite dark, the no Sun, and quite cooooold time.

Then she lost the baby and fell into depression and now can not climb out again… out of the dark hole.

Amaterasu, the Japanese Sun Goddess, so the legend goes, was in a dark cave and did not want to come out, until someone shone a bright light into her cave and she could feel joy again.

Amaterasu is an excellent picture for SAD = seasonal Affective Disorder.

Come out of the cave, Nina, sit in the sun, have your office moved – or at least get yourself a full spectrum lamp. One for the office and one for home. Move condos , not to lake view = South, but to West, where you get some Sun in the evening, when you get home.

It is sooooooo typical!

Harry has his blackberry (or is it a smart phone??) out, gooooogeling SAD and the prices of bright full spectrum light lamps.

He now knows what to do.

Nina feels ”as if something important inside her just moved”

She says, she can not belief it – yet,- but she can feel it.

I am pleased but direct our talk towards observing and ultimately controlling depressive thoughts and ruminations as well as negative self talk…..

They both are getting homework to improve in this area.

I smudge them and sing the Yölle chant for them again before they leave……

More on SAD:



How to define shamanism???
I am sure that there are a gazzzzudle of wise, learned professors out there that know absolutely EVERYTHING about that!!!
Only they themselves never had a vision or better said, went into full theta  trance – other than maybe aided by some drugs……..
Well No drugs for me!

All I need is my drum….
A shaman is a person that can go into trance at will, spontaneously and —

– OK, sometimes also goes into trance spontaneously when not called for…… been there, or …..????
What the person then “sees” perceives he, she uses for the good of the community.

Some “see” and talk to Spirits in human, animal or any form in between. There are no rules. Trance has no rules other than that it is universal and found in all cultures.
Usually shamans are not the ones to make rules anyway. They have a bone-crushing vision, that may inspire them to create a NEW ritual , something that revitalizes the community. These rituals may or may not become permanent fixtures after that.
A medicine Bundle may be created after such a vision.

And eventually the community may end up electing a bundle priest, that takes care of the rituals and tabooooos related to that bundle / commemorating the vision…. Now thous guys are the ones we have to looook towards when searching for the roots of dogma, taboo enforcement and rigid moral and behavior codes!! Because out of these THEY receive their power (with a small p!!! ) and their prestige….
OK they also embody the Traditions; good and bad……
The culture’s shamans however are meanwhile busssssssy with the next Powerful vision and the one after that…..
We have no time and room for rigidity; we are treading new ground, keeping the culture vibrant and alive, not a relict, fit for a museum. There you have the exact cutting edge between visionary shamanism and tutelary = learnabel/ apprentice based priesthood.

Shamans the world over were the first artist, drawing their visions onto rocks, trees, into the back of Mother Earth to bring them into tangible reality.
And that is what we still do.
In art, in dance, in chants, in rituals, given to us by Spirit.
And sometimes we write about just how that feels like on an international web site like this one to share with  😉

—> the community!!! = You all!

…….Iffff we are not sitting in endless Pow Wow board meetings -that is…..  😦