A lady’s calling card:

Within the last 48 hours the temperature had risen from -28 centigrade with howling winds and deep snowdrifts to + 9, with freezing rain, that transformed the landscape into an endless, dull, foggy skating ring.

On this rain-soaked morning I was listlessly putting on my way too tight woollen socks and while I pulled hard I was glancing out the rain-spattered living room window and saw her:

On the other side of the creek, trotting quickly from puddle to puddle over the still frozen ice.

A Wolf!

Large, a bit skinny, probably due more to the wet fur than malnutrition. She rolled in one of the last patches of snow – She-Wolves do that, when they are in heat – leaving scent marks, invitations – tantalizing…..

Then she jumped up and ran over to a Muskrat pile that is now protruding through the ice. She squatted, peed on it, to make sure, everyone got the message…..

Off to the old abandoned Beaver lodge – repeat task, then loop on – down the creek and into the rolling fog…….

May she be well.

May she connect…..

May there be pups in the rendezvous site come autumn!


Pow Wow

Woman dancers

This summer in August Peter and me took a little mini holiday and went up to Manitoulin Island to attend the annual Pow Wow on Wikwemikong Unceded Territory.

We had a wonderful time and also met a few dancers, that we know from Pow Wows in our area. It is always surprising to see, how many folks follow “the Pow Wow trail” from one event to the other and dance every weekend.

Writing this I suspect you guys want to see some pictures!??!

Eagle Staff

Eagle Staff


Deer Clan dancer

Deer Clan dancer


full Siberian style facial vail

full Siberian style facial covering on Woodland regalia

Woodland Culture  regalia

Woodland regalia

















Wolf Clan dancer

Wolf Clan dancer

Of course I also wanted to see the vendors that were set up just outside the dance grounds, I was secretly hoping to maybe find and “adopt a special treasure as a memento of out trip,

What however surprised me is, that up here in spite of all the galleries advertising Native art and handiwork what we found was rather dismal, cheaply made – but not by any First nations people from this continent. Colourful Chinese Chicken feathers and plastic beads everywhere.

Dream catchers from China – or the Dollar store – or both….. 😦

Other things made of Moose or Deer hide but crudely glued together with a glue gun and adorned with plastic beads and said Chicken feathers…….

Tacky velvet pictures of the stereotypical Indian on a Horse brandishing a spear towards the sunset…..

Where IS all the good stuff??????

What will the small kids growing up now on the res think of as their art and artistic expression, when all they see at their cultural events is this?

OK, there was a Caucasian guy selling the big Navajo jewellery with Turquoise cabochon – VERY expensive….

And I can not count how often I was asked or commented or complemented on the Wolf pin and earrings I wore – which of course Peter had made. I passed out all our Bearpaw Jewellery business cards.

So, in the end, what did I buy?

My heart cramps up in sorrowful pain as I am writing this down…..

There was a fur trader from Alberta. He had strung up in his tent – among many other pelts, 2 Wolves. A black male – Huuuuge! And an almost white female – beautiful…….

Standing in front of her, my heart pounded loudly and I was transfixed…….

I asked about her.

The story is not pretty:

……Alberta Wolf cull…..

…..South of Slave Lake….

…..She was shot in the face.

I need not say more- I hope……

There as a gentleman from England, who has a cottage somewhere here and was looking for a wall decoration, eyeing her and an Arctic Fox pelt…….

Peter wordlessly gave the trader $ 600,00 and then we smudged her.

_DSC0552 (2)

What will I do with her?

How will I somehow craft her ruined face back together?

Today, a month later, I still do not know…….

But I visit her, talk to her … and now I am crying into the keyboard……

…..for her…..

…..for all the cups she should have had…..

…..for all the Wolves…..

Midnight Snowshoe Hike

Full Moon night
Clear and crisp, -28 centigrade, no wind.
We are out snow shoeing on the frozen marsh in ~~40 cm = foot and 1/2 of fresh snow.
Early this morning my husband had walked a 9 circuit labyrinth into the fresh powder, but while we were going about our day “someone” came up from the Beaver dam and walked right up to the edge of our labyrinth……
Who was that?

We want to find out. 
Fresh Wolf tracks! 
4 of them. 
For the most part the Wolves walk in each other’s paw prints, just here and there they fan out to check for Rabbits and Mice in the frozen tussocks.
We measure the step sequences and conclude that it must be at least 1 adult male, probably one female and 2 sub adults from this year’s litter.
As I look up towards the Beaver dam, there is movement among the long moon shadows of the Pine Trees. 
A lone Wolf steps out and briskly crosses the frozen pond.
We howl, but get no answer.
On our way back to the house we see the fresh tracks crossing ours just below our living room window……

Wolf Woman:

Wolf woman:

It was a rainy morning here, but in late afternoon the sun was coming out.

I had been sitting down all day, first writing about my new Tarot deck then working on a small Medicine Pouch.

Now I needed some exercise. But going for a walk these days is not an option. Tooooo many Mosquitos, Blackflies, and now the fast and voracious Deerflies are out as well 😦

But I could go for a bike ride!

My bike has a name: Jubelkuh = somewhat like “happy trillering Cow”

I have it since the good old days – 1975 or so, when I still was a student nurse and had to use it to get to the large hospital I worked in. It is the very small wheeled, fold- up type, that comes apart with just the turning of a screw and then can be put into a car.

Way back then, I stuck it into my VW bus and off we went….

Nowadays I do not get very far on it – I am oooold and the road is hilly….

But Sunday safely dressed in a Mosquito net jacket, net headgear and bug spray I was happily paddling along our road along neighbor’s property, when all of a sudden I heard strange “japing sounds” coming from the dense bush. I stopped and listened It sounded like several small Wolf pups!!! 🙂

Oh rats! There was a large 4 wheel truck coming down the road from behind me, roaring past smelling nasty… and then quiet again…. so I listened some more.

There! More japing youwling and squeaaaaaaling!

High puppy voices.

And of course all the bugs had found me by now, sirrrrseling around my body and face netting and adding to the concert.

But – what was that??

Rustling bushes!

Right in front of me!

I stared, NOT moving!


The bushes parted and out stepped A large brown gray She-Wolf, carrying in her snout a young pup, by the ruff of its neck.

She looked at me, “GRRRRuarrred”

How else to describe the sound a Wolf mother makes, when she sees a human and has her mouth full of baby??

Having warned me off, she crossed the road not 20 feet in front of me, tail held high, tits swinging widely.

Seconds… and she was gone.

I was enchanted and transfixed!

What a sight!

– Sure I had my camera.

Safely tucked in its shoulder bag – out of reach- out of mind in that enchanting moment.

I listened. All was quiet.

She probably had already moved the others of the litter away from the den located in the soft sandy soil near the quarry to the new rendezvous site closer to the river, closer to our home, if not on the west part of out property. They will now need more solid food – Rabbits, Grouse and Deer and we have plenty of those.

Smiling I went on with my bike ride, down to where Echo Creek crosses the road.

On my way back I stopped again and listened.

Nothing – all quiet. Woodcock

Then – some small movement just at my feet caught my eye:

Oh loooook who is sitting there, rutting for grubs and insects in the soft wet sand:

Mrs. Woodcock!

This time I had all the time in the world to get out the camera and snap a picture.

Last night late, when the rain stopped for a while I went out onto the deck and listened again.

There were yapping sounds coming from the other side of the creek!

Wolf Woman’s new home.


Wolf woman running
Carrying her child
Wolf Woman thank you!
For a glimpse of the Wild!
……………………………..Mi-Shell June 9. 2013

wolf drawing 2



Following the Dots

The thing with Earth magnetic fields:

In trance, as well as in dreams, when I “become” Owl or Wolf, I very often see flirrrrry wavering wavy lines, flowing in front of me. Several times I described them as “tram lines” going of into the distance, where I am supposed to follow….

Spirit pathway

Now on a radio program about the latest scientific discoveries, there was a fascinating segment about Foxes:

Scientists found out, that Foxes always jump after their prey in a straight

North alignment with Earth magnetic fields.


Foxes can see/ sense the lines of the Earth magnetic field and they make out their prey as a blurry spot / deviance in the lines….

It helps them to locate something they hear beneath grass or snow but can not visually see as we do.

Scientists say, that Foxes, Dogs and Wolves can see earth Magnetic lines, but not see in colour.

I think that is wrong. They see more and different colours than we can make out. Their vision is set up differently then ours. I think most Animal’s is.

I can see colour when I am Wolf. However the colours are different!

More like the picture of the Australian Aborigine dot art I post here, most often in shades of blue  (Wolf) and yellow (Owl) but other times also in more shades of colours.

Wolf walk

This makes this a painting from the Wolf’s point of view!


Earth magnetic fields: According to scientists, Robins can see them with their right eye but with their left they are supposedly seeing regular stuffff “- like objects in their environment ???

…like how we would see them..

But not only Robins; Owls too!

In trance I can see the Spirit Lines my Owl Guardian follows. I also can “see”, where a Mouse ran and the track-lines of other Animals, Humans – where they have been and also follow them backward to where a specific incident happened or where they have been and lost something- like a house-key…..

So how are these lines related to the Earth magnetic lines?

stream of light

Most humans can not sense the Earth magnetic fields, but others are very sensitive to ley lines and other Energy lines.

This reminds me about the dousing course I did with a strange guy called Barry Fell….and him saying, that crossing the Energy lines are dangerous….

Then how come we evolved with and among them?

That does not make sense to me. Ifff they were in any way harmful to humans and we do need crystals or copper rods or whatever to divert them away from our home/ property, we just simply would not be here, living together with the Animals, who use them daily.

On to the net I go, to find out more:

Animals including birds and turtles can detect the Earth’s magnetic field, and use the field to navigate during migration. Cows and wild deer tend to align their bodies north-south while relaxing, but not when the animals are under high voltage power lines, leading researchers to believe magnetism is responsible.

Migratory birds may use two electromagnetic tools to find their destinations: one that is entirely innate and another that relies on experience. A young bird on its first migration flies in the correct direction according to the Earth’s magnetic field, but does not know how far the journey will be. It does this through a radical pair mechanism whereby chemical reactions in special photo pigments sensitive to long wavelengths are affected by the field ( The chain of reactions is initiated by a blue light photon,) Note, that although this only works during daylight hours, it does not use the position of the sun in any way. At this stage the bird is similar to a boy scout with a compass but no map, until it grows accustomed to the journey and can put its other facilities to use. With experience they learn various landmarks and this “mapping” is done by magnetites in the trigeminal system, which tell the bird how strong the field is. Because birds migrate between northern and southern regions, the magnetic field strengths at different latitudes let it interpret the radical pair mechanism more accurately and let it know when it has reached its destination. More recent research has found a neural connection between the eye and “Cluster N”, the part of the fore-brain that is active during migration orientation, suggesting that birds may actually be able to see the magnetic field of the earth.

Ghosts in Agony

The other deck new in the house, the Tarot of Ghosts and Spirits from Lisa Hunt is exactly the right thing for the spooooooky Halloween season – or so I thought….

Until I looked at it closer.

Sooooo many disembodied Spirits SCREAMING in anger, fear and agony. 😦

My very first layout with the cards – my “new deck interview” speaks to that.

Looking at these images I feel pain, oppression, despair and more fear and agony……

I am currently reading through the Lwb to learn a little more about just who these spirits are supposed to be. Yes, the stories are quite different, but so many of the images are all portraying the same sad subject all anew.

I do own 2 other of Lisa Hunt’s decks, The Animals Divine and the Fantastical Creatures and quite like her intricate artwork…

But will I read with this one – other than- yet again- sadness and pain or tragic loss?

My favorite card of the deck – No questions, it is thePage of Swords.

It is supposed to be a dark and scarrrrry black dog, but to me, the image shows a Wolf.

The swirrrls and spirals in the image remind me of the Celts.

So maybe this Wolf is one of the last of his kind, that walked the pathways of the British isles.

On his way into extinction?

……Also a sad story…..

New decks in the house

So, What is going on in terms of my forays into the world of

“The Cards”?

Over the last few months several new Tarot and Oracle decks found their way into my home.

I am always a little strapped for cash and so often I prefer to trade for the decks I am interested in, rather than buy. This summer I was lucky, because another member of Aeclectic Tarot was interested in me creating a beaded leather pouch for her beloved Tarot of the Origins in trade for the large set of the “Songs for the Journey Home Tarot” – Alchemy through Imagery – created by Catherine Cook and the late Dwariko Sommaruga as well as the “Ghosts and Spirits Tarot” from Lisa Hunt. 🙂


I was already somewhat familiar with the imagery of the “Songs for the Journey Home”, having recently received the miniature set, packaged in an most exquisite color coordinated bag as a gift from a good friend. While they are lovely and feel almost tooooo fragile to use, I tried to get the full sized set, because I like to meditate with card images and, getting ever closer to the age 60, I like LAAAAAARGE cards, where I can SEEEEE the image clearly – and then subsequently disappear into them for a while….

For New Moon September to New Moon October this was my “deck of the month”.

I find many of the images very intriguing, because they put quite a new take on well known meanings of a variety of cards and so broaden my horizon 🙂

Ultimately however I was toooo busy last month to really get through the whole deck, read the book and really delve into the mind-set of its creators. So for now I put it aside, maybe even until next spring, since, due to its color palette, to me it has more of a summery feel, and does not quite fit with the mood of the browns and grays of late October in Ontario.



How I got my very first Guardian:

I have told you about Fretty, right?!!
Fretty is a Ferret, not a domestic one, but a Siberian one. Fretty has 6 siblings, whom I just remember from when I was small. (They were my Spirit friends – or imaginary friends as we would say here today 🙂 )

I had an imaginary leash and was leading them along wherever I went. My parents knew well about it and my dad showed me pictures in a book about all kinds of Animals, until finally I recognized Fretty, but he still was a little different then the domesticated Ferrets and it took a book about Siberian Wildlife, borrowed from a friend of my dad’s, to find out who Fretty and his siblings were.
My mother was not so pleased, in spite of Ferrets having a quite honorable standing within Gypsy culture and many Roma were known and hired as Ferreters. (hunting Rabbits with Ferrets so the rabbits do not destroy vegetable crops)
Today Fretty is one of my Spirit Helpers, a quite opinionated one that is.
He is GREAT at finding out information.



Somewhere in the archives my teaching notes for my students  there is the story about my first NDE, how I almost died of Diphtheria and in the grip of deadly fever Umai-Ee’ne appeared and did not take me back with her but promised me to send someone who would watch over me and then shortly after that I then received my first real E’eren/ Clan Guardian from Her…..

=Ha! 🙂 I found it:


When I was 2 1/2 my mother and I went on a small child’s scooter down the steep street…

A rock…. and crash!!!!

Mother fell on top of me and I was unconscious for a loooong time.

I “dreamed” that there was a strange animal laying on my chest it smelled strange too, slim and small with a masked face and sharp little claws..
I got better … 3 months later I got diphtheria and was VERY close to death.
There was a VERY BEAUTIFUL young strange woman that came out of a glazing flimmering light! She wore white leather and red ribbons around the sleeves of that dress. She had loooong black braids and on a leash beside her feet there were 7 of those critters!!!!
She said: I can not take you back right now, I already have 7! You are FROM me but these are not for you!

In a …?? time I will send you your own animal from your Clan and HE !! will protect you!
She dissolved into the flirring light and I woke up and told my mother that I had seen an Angel with black braids and 7 …????!!!!! and what she had said!

My mom was overjoyed, that I was all better and recovering now. Being Gypsy and so not too unfamiliar with things, to her Animal Guardians like this were well known, although she had hoped, I would not “wake up to the Blood” sooo soon and so did not follow up on the matter.

But my father took me Very serious and made me repeat and later draw the things I saw, He and I loooooked through Animal books and we found ….
Black footed Ferrets = Frettchen my mother noted as being important Guardians for Gypsy people!


one afternoon about a year later all of a sudden – there was the flirring light again and the Lady appeared for less then a split second and then a LAAAArge slim, scrawny and what today I would describe as mangy looking Wolf jumped into / above me. —- Suspended in mid air he was, as the vision made my body shake (peed my …) and I got a VERY hot feeling up my spine and was shaking like a leave on a tree. I smelled him, his fur kind odd wet – ( nooo not like my pants!!)
and … then he was inside me…… and is there as my Guardian ever since!

As I learned from my father, Wolf is our Siberian Clan Animal.

My father is / was Siberian T. (tribal name omitted for privacy reasons) Wolf Clan and found it very auspicious, that our Clan Guardian appeared to me like this. Our Clan is patrilineal and to him it meant, that I was“special” and that “Eeren Börü, the Wolf-Guardian has taken a personal interest in me, more so than is normally expected. He slaughtered a Sheep from our flock, painted the blood on my forehead and hands and we had a feast with Mutton stew.

I was quite a bit scarrrred about the Biiiiig Wolf inside me at first, but it turned out a Powerful protector. The best friend of my every day ego,,

My “tonal” guide, the one who keeps my body and my Self save and intact when I am in trance. The one that saved me in a Christian orphanage when I was beaten,tortured and later exorcised, because I did refuse communion’s…. (another looong sad story…..)

picture from google

For the benefit of my students I often call him Ari’

but that is only “close” to his name….